******SiGhZzzz******

Suddenly filled with lotsa "emotions", I dun noe why but sometimes I will have certain "unexplained" feelings about life(gan chu) that just come and go...
Very often Life is fraught with difficulties, we have many things that we wan to achieve but there are always obstacles. Most of the time, we encounter some conflicts in ideas, and often we seek a compromise. Sometimes we win, sometimes we lose. I dunno why I suddenly have this "lost" feeling. Why u ask me? I also dunno why just have this feeling of helplessness.

Case 1: My family have 6 members, there are 4 brothers in the family, now is the new year, thus everyone have to start cleaning up in preparation for the new year, but it seems that I am the only 1 doing it together with my mum, Well I can jolly well leave the whole thing to my mum to clean but then it's hard work climbing up and down thus someone have to help and when I help the others just watch. I just dunno why they are just so damn L..A..Z..Y. My 3rd bro is in NS BMT, I have already cleaned up the whole room, only left his wardrobe and bookshelves for him to clean ok I can understand, he just came back from army training(and sick somemore) which is suppose to be "siong". so I didn't expect him to help much just to clean and tidy up his own stuffs Is that too much to ask? I let him rest on Sat night then ask him politely to clean and tidy up his stuffs on sun morn I think this shouldn't take him more than an hour...but the moment he opened his eyes, his buttocks was glued to the chair and his eyes to the computer monitor. THen before I went out I reminded him again to tidy up and he said "Ok Ok" then I left the house but when I came back everything was still untouched..nothing was done! Urgh...We all stay in the same house so it's EVERYONE's RESPONSIBLITY to help clean up the house right? Just becos I help my mum in spring cleaning almost every year, all of them now assume that it's my job to do the cleaning, and if I didn't do it for 1 year, my dad would jumped(and nag/scold ) at me but not those whom never contribute anything over these years.Then my parents just because I am an early riser, I have to buy breakfast for my family every Sun(well almost) Well I don't mind that actually if everyone takes turns.I don't mind if I am get more of this "duty" as long as every1 else also go down sometimes, now it seems that waking up early is a bad thing. Then I remember previously I used to run most of the errands for my mum just because when my mum calls the others, they would flare up easily and started shouting, Then for this case it seems that my good temper is being taken advantage of. I don't like this feeling at all ...I don't wan to take advantage of others and similarly I don't want others to take advantage of me. And I like to buy things back to snack, eat ...Frankly speaking I dun mind sharing with my bros but it seems that this "sharing" is always I am the "giver" and never the "reciever". I don't feel good about this. Suddenly when I think of it I feel that being too mild tempered,waking up early ,sympathetic and responsible will let others take advantage of u? even ur own family members? Suddenly I feel like shouting out to each and every1 of them, "I DON'T MIND SHARING AS LONG AS I CAN BE THE RECIEVER SOMETIMES!" sometimes I am very tired of all this I am really tired...So FED UP..Urgh... Sometimes I feel tat is it becos I am too good, and I dun easily flare up that's why everyone's trying to take advantage of me? Now I buy things I eat alone I don't like to share anymore...cos it's pointless I am always the 1 buying they just noe how to pinch my stuffs to eat...they never contribute at all...
I don't know, now I am trying my hardest to save every penny I have, move out, marry my dd(hopefully she agree) but with my meagre attachment pay the more I think of how much I can save(only),many things I wish to buy now can only stay in my wishlist for the time being... I feel even more helpless...*sighzZzzz* Now all I can do is carry on hoping.......