Comments from a bystander...

At 12:24 PM, haz said...

Hi,

That's something nice of you in saying what you posted in the beginning of this post... i'm sure ur gf, well i know ur gf is touched by how you feel towards her.

You seem to project yourself as a clear minded person, so i'll take ur word for it (since all i know of you is what i read from this blog, and from ur gf). So Mr. clear minded, be clear of one thing, don't ever take what a person said seriously during an argument. This is especially the case when it comes to your gf... weren't you the one who mentioned she's the emotional sort? (you should know her better than i do) Bad, unintentional, regretful things are said in arguments, we all know that, but when it comes the time, we all know just as well how difficult it is to control what comes blabbing out of our mouth. If an argument with some not-so-nice things are being said of you, and ur life crumbles just coz of that, then god bless you. My point is, don't be silly to ponder over the 'mean' things that were said in an argument... ur gf is regretful of what was said of you ...

Wow, so you've been "very clear abt what you want"... congrats. Oh so you've decided that getting a house is much more of an importance than ur gf's wish for a car, okay let's put this aside first...

Have you ever really asked for her opinions in going by YOUR plan of getting married with her when you both reach the age of 28? If yes, have you seriously considered if it is financially feasible in doing so? If you are tellin me "yes" again, then Mr clear headed, you're not so clear minded after all. What ppl do thesedays is that the very first thing they need in getting a house is having their CPF packed with $. People don't go around paying cash, other than the montly installments, for the initial payment. Oh so, what about the renovations right? If a simple house is what you really asked for, then renovations won't be much of a problem.. well unless you're asking for much more in one go, which you both could very well have "upgrade" or build on along your marriage life..

Argh, enough of the $ part... like the saying goes... "tan $ shan he chi" -- pardon my han yu ping ying.

So what you want is getting married at the age of 28,
what you want is (naturally) gettin a house by then,
what you want is for ur gf to help save up $ with you for the house.
And i've to agree with you on your wants since they sounded logical enough...

But, is she prepared for your 'wants'?

She is going along with your want to get married at that age, even though she personally feels you both wouldn't be financially stable at that time. And with that, she'd naturally have to go along with ur other plans since they're all tied together...

Hmm..Let's see.. who's the one giving... who's the one taking?

i don't want to really comment on her wish of getting a car.. by just want to say something based on my understanding... that her wish for a vehicle may seem somewhat an unnecessary luxury need to most... but think about the direct and indirect reasons behind it. Everyone has their goals, owning a car happens to be hers. It's just that the $ involved will get everyone to think it's more of a want than a need. Have you notice me saying it's her "wish"? Perhaps it's more of a goal that she tries to achieve... it's always good to have a goal in life, achieveable or not.

I don't think you'd want a girl friend who doesn't have a mind and hence, goals of her own... if you do, you might as well marry a _____ (fill in the blank).. if not, do expect conflicting interests, we r all individuals with different mindsets

i'm not saying your wish for a house before a car is wrong.. there's always reasons behind every decision/goal made, which you'd have to stop and think about it... (remember there are things in life that r personal fulfilments that we all hope to achieve before being tied down...) Ask yourself questions.. are you rushing things? is both party mentally and financially stable enough to step over to the next phrase of ur life?

One thing for sure, your gf's love for you isn't any lesser coz of these.. plus it hurts her just as much as you when you both argue... but i'm sure she loves you just as much as you loves her. this is what's important

Perhaps all a woman wants is for the man to understand what she feels~

All the best to you two :)
(sorry about my blah.. it's late and my mind's goin royak)