Feel so Cheated!

Grr..
just recieved my new SAFRA card, Thought that my safra membership will automatically be void once the old card expired this March but little did I know that they deduct $32 from my IPPT money and send me the new card... Sound a bit like those credit card scam rite? they never inform me that the membership will be automatically renewed if I didn't inform them... Feel so cheated.. hard to imagine such a big (and rich) organisation also uses such "tactics"...

One happy thing is that I've recieve the last instalment of my pay from Toshiba... hohoho good now nobody owe me any money (IPPT money also in already, but $32 short), also means no more money coming in sob... sob..

Haiz yesterday failed my first job interview.. Interviewed by a guy from IDS International... he said he's a IT company, very big and a MNC..and he's the software vendor for the dutch bank ABN AMRO need assistants like us to install his so-call security software to every users. During the interview, he asked for the EXACT words /sentence I would use to "persuade" the users to let me install the software into their computers. Wow sounds abit like sales right? guess i am not eloquent enough ..I beta stick to being a engineer haha.. anyway take the interview as a learning experience lor..no hard feelings on hearing that I dun really like the job also (haha no sour grapes here..)

Had a little tiff wif dd yesterday, I know she's under alot of stress this week because she suspect her dog got illness. somemore she's worried about her confirmation. so everytime I "type" to her in MSN, I will get the "NO MOOD" response..every conversation sure have this words.. make me quite frustrated as well cos typing to her is like she's not that interested also... her whole mind is about her doggie.. I think the best way is not to talk to her till sat after she visited the vet(with her dog of cos). Only then will she set her mind at ease. then can talk..else typing/talking to her grrrrrr make people feel so frustrating, can't help but make a jibe at her yesterday...

I feel I've slipped further down the rungs again... To me, I feel like my status is just her punching bag, for her to vent frustrations at me. whereelse all her love is divided between her dog, her family and her car. I feel so unimportant... way behind all those things/persons I've mentioned. Last time is only persons, now still have a dog and a car slotted in front of me..pushing me further down... She always say I can take care of myself so she pays more attention to her dog, but being able to take care of myself means I dun need TLC from my beloved? mabbe I am just being too sensitive (or it's because I am too free these days to think abt all these)watever the case I can't help but feel that I am more and more "unimportant" to her...

The dd I wan is someone who will love me with all her heart and must place a certain "importance" to me. At least she must make me feel that I'm important to her. And this is the dd I used to know in the past. but now with the new additions and new love I dun feel that "importance" anymore. Or rather I am feeling more and more unimportant...

Perharps I should contract a serious illness then I will know how and where she values me...