Feeling Down...

Sighzzz these few days dunno why have been feeling quite down coupled with the super warm weather...urgh...,
1st thing, my bro just finished his BMT, and came back to stay for 2 weeks before he gets his next posting. He's been complaining that his allowance is very little, he's getting $350 and my mum feels that he has not enough to spend thus keep buying things like shirts, pants ,wallets and other necessities for him. Ok I know that i shouldn't feel that way but I feel that she's practising favoritism, which makes me quite upset cos when i was in army I dun rem getting such treatments and what's more my allowance at that time was even less, $220 only...He's getting $130 more already can't he take care of himself and buy the stuffs he need himself? Grrr...
Seems that no 1 care abt me anymore...
2nd thing, been quite worried whether I will be able to save enough $$ to get married with my beloved dd.Dunno why,It's seems that the more I try to save, the more I would need spend. And though I am trying my best already it seems I am not making much progress,at most $300 every month and then in between my stuffs break down, i.e. my alarm clock spoil then I have to spend $$ to get a new one.... Grr...why? is it so hard to save $$? I've been trying very hard, very tired already...My dd says she wans to save as much as possible but she's been living a pampered life(mabbe she dosen't realise it) since young so don't really expect her to be able to save much, only hope is that she don't overspend than I'll b more than happy...
Many things I wan, I also refrain myself from buying...Pathetic? Now I really wish to spend some $$ just to please myself(and vent my frustration) but I noe that after i spend I will regret it cos i could have save the $$ for better use...
Then her family sigh...Keep associating wealth with a man's achievement and put very high expectations for me to achieve else I would be deemed "Mei Chu Xi"(worthless) by them. Sometimes I think my dd is also affected by this labelling. All I wan is to live happily Is that too much to ask? Why can't they have some sympathy on us, the men of this generation? Everything they say "it's a man's responsibility" I am not trying to shrink from responsibility but why don't we swap places and see how they will feel? Saying want this want that is easy, everything is easier said than done...Sometimes really feel like giving everything up lor...cos seems like no matter wat I do also can't meet the expectations...sighz...
Well nvm what can I do? sighzzz just have to press on lor else how? Sometimes it's just so hard to be a man...just wan to shout:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to vent my frustrations....