Sighzzz these few days dunno why have been feeling quite down coupled with the super warm weather...urgh...,
1st thing, my bro just finished his BMT, and came back to stay for 2 weeks before he gets his next posting. He's been complaining that his allowance is very little, he's getting $350 and my mum feels that he has not enough to spend thus keep buying things like shirts, pants ,wallets and other necessities for him. Ok I know that i shouldn't feel that way but I feel that she's practising favoritism, which makes me quite upset cos when i was in army I dun rem getting such treatments and what's more my allowance at that time was even less, $220 only...He's getting $130 more already can't he take care of himself and buy the stuffs he need himself? Grrr...
Seems that no 1 care abt me anymore...
2nd thing, been quite worried whether I will be able to save enough $$ to get married with my beloved dd.Dunno why,It's seems that the more I try to save, the more I would need spend. And though I am trying my best already it seems I am not making much progress,at most $300 every month and then in between my stuffs break down, i.e. my alarm clock spoil then I have to spend $$ to get a new one.... Grr...why? is it so hard to save $$? I've been trying very hard, very tired already...My dd says she wans to save as much as possible but she's been living a pampered life(mabbe she dosen't realise it) since young so don't really expect her to be able to save much, only hope is that she don't overspend than I'll b more than happy...
Many things I wan, I also refrain myself from buying...Pathetic? Now I really wish to spend some $$ just to please myself(and vent my frustration) but I noe that after i spend I will regret it cos i could have save the $$ for better use...
Then her family sigh...Keep associating wealth with a man's achievement and put very high expectations for me to achieve else I would be deemed "Mei Chu Xi"(worthless) by them. Sometimes I think my dd is also affected by this labelling. All I wan is to live happily Is that too much to ask? Why can't they have some sympathy on us, the men of this generation? Everything they say "it's a man's responsibility" I am not trying to shrink from responsibility but why don't we swap places and see how they will feel? Saying want this want that is easy, everything is easier said than done...Sometimes really feel like giving everything up lor...cos seems like no matter wat I do also can't meet the expectations...sighz...
Well nvm what can I do? sighzzz just have to press on lor else how? Sometimes it's just so hard to be a man...just wan to shout:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to vent my frustrations....
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Saturday, March 05, 2005
"I'm Worried, I'm so worried"
This few days feeling quite vex becos of dd's carcar prob abit worried that she can't save enuff for the car or because of the car she have to live like a pauper... u can say I am now pondering whether urging her to buy the car is a good thing or a bad thing...
Reasons why I encourage to buy:
1)It's always her dream to own her car, and I feel she'll b happier if she do have one.
2)Car prices are cheap now, may not be able to afford in the future
3)wan to make use of this opportunity to let her learn how to save money
4)Prevent her from giving her parents more money (>500) so as to protect herself
5)Even if she don't buy, her money will also go to some other place and b lost forever without a trace.
6)Let her gain some "face" back.
Reasons why I am having 2nd tots:
1)she can't curb herself from spending more $$ even though she had planned to. She dosen't have the self-discipline and/or she is just not firm enough to put plans into actions.
2)worried that she'll have to suffer due to suddenly having much less to spend
3)Her parents will keep "borrowing" $200-$300 from her every month(on top of her allowance and she don't know how to reject them), To be honest she can't afford to lend them $200 when she is paying for the car lor.
just recieved a car from the car agent,that our orange picanto is coming, already paid upfront $2k now need to pay another $800 for 1st instalment and insurance. meaning I'll have to come up with another $400. Actually it's quite a heartache for me to part with the $400. cos it really take much effort for me to save up to the amt of $$ i have now. I hope this will be a lesson to her to teach her the virtues of savings. I am still a student yet i managed to amass $6K and at 1 pt I have $8K. It's not easy considering I have almost no income. But i guess this time the $400 I have to give to help her fufill her dreams, just hope it's not a short-lived 1. To be honest, I don't have much expectations of recouping the $2.4K from her and i don't want to add to her burden. If she can't "repay" the "loan" then nvm lor. I'll just slowly take my time to save back the $$ again but I guess $2.4k is just abt the max I can part with cos i don't want the $$ in my UOB to drop below $5K unless there's a emergency then that I've nothing to say.
I've been telling my dd to save up some years already, but that time she still have to study and thus have to come up with alot of $$ every year to pay her PT degree fees.Somemore she still have to satisfy her parent's "greed" for more allowance.( To me it's just to brag abt it in front of relatives n neighbours) thus i dont't blame her for having little or no savings that time. But it's been 6 months since she grad and though she's working her savings is still less than $2K.(see my FOR pt 3 and 5).Put it crudely I am not working, my income is almost 0 mabbe she can take a page frm me, I still managed to save a few $Ks, I do believe if I can do it so can the rest of the people even more so for those who are working and have a stable income. Perharps if she had heeded my advice earlier and start saving some $$ a few years back things will b different today, she'll b able to get her things she wan as and when she wan.Anyway no use crying over spilled milk wat's pass had pass.Just forget it.Just start from now.
I don't know what she take me for, but I do take her very seriously though we're not legally married, I've already considered her to b like a wife to me. I tell her almost everything and discuss with her over most matters(say except those that I forgot or those that need a speedy resolution). To me she give me the feeling that she will only come to me when she has a problem. example the insurance case, I don't even know that she bought a policy until she have already subscriped to it for almost year. Then i only came to know abt it when she wanted to terminate. In other stuffs though she came to seek my advice and though after we've discuss and come to a agreement on the next action step, she'll not execute it. Why is that so? Is it bcos I am not working and inexperienced so my advices are mostly "rubbish"? or is it I am just simply taken for granted? I dunno...*sigh*
Breakdown of dd's pay and my calculations:
income:
Take home pay :$1880
fixed expenditures:
Car monthly instalments :$285
Home allowance(home Tax) :$500
Season parking (monthly) :$75
car insurance (monthly) :~$200
var expenditures:
Food :$100 ($5 every meal,a month ~20 working days $5x20=100)
Transport :$~50 ($2 everyday($0.83 a trip) + some unexpected trips)
Car petrol,parking :$50(conservative figure hopefully can meet)
coupons, cash card
thus she still should have $620 if my calculations are correct and she still have to spend on some hidden stuffs like facials, Amore membership, etc...
Well hope everything work out well...well just voicing out my tots no hard feelings...just feel better after voicing out my concerns...
Sorry DD okok?
Reasons why I encourage to buy:
1)It's always her dream to own her car, and I feel she'll b happier if she do have one.
2)Car prices are cheap now, may not be able to afford in the future
3)wan to make use of this opportunity to let her learn how to save money
4)Prevent her from giving her parents more money (>500) so as to protect herself
5)Even if she don't buy, her money will also go to some other place and b lost forever without a trace.
6)Let her gain some "face" back.
Reasons why I am having 2nd tots:
1)she can't curb herself from spending more $$ even though she had planned to. She dosen't have the self-discipline and/or she is just not firm enough to put plans into actions.
2)worried that she'll have to suffer due to suddenly having much less to spend
3)Her parents will keep "borrowing" $200-$300 from her every month(on top of her allowance and she don't know how to reject them), To be honest she can't afford to lend them $200 when she is paying for the car lor.
just recieved a car from the car agent,that our orange picanto is coming, already paid upfront $2k now need to pay another $800 for 1st instalment and insurance. meaning I'll have to come up with another $400. Actually it's quite a heartache for me to part with the $400. cos it really take much effort for me to save up to the amt of $$ i have now. I hope this will be a lesson to her to teach her the virtues of savings. I am still a student yet i managed to amass $6K and at 1 pt I have $8K. It's not easy considering I have almost no income. But i guess this time the $400 I have to give to help her fufill her dreams, just hope it's not a short-lived 1. To be honest, I don't have much expectations of recouping the $2.4K from her and i don't want to add to her burden. If she can't "repay" the "loan" then nvm lor. I'll just slowly take my time to save back the $$ again but I guess $2.4k is just abt the max I can part with cos i don't want the $$ in my UOB to drop below $5K unless there's a emergency then that I've nothing to say.
I've been telling my dd to save up some years already, but that time she still have to study and thus have to come up with alot of $$ every year to pay her PT degree fees.Somemore she still have to satisfy her parent's "greed" for more allowance.( To me it's just to brag abt it in front of relatives n neighbours) thus i dont't blame her for having little or no savings that time. But it's been 6 months since she grad and though she's working her savings is still less than $2K.(see my FOR pt 3 and 5).Put it crudely I am not working, my income is almost 0 mabbe she can take a page frm me, I still managed to save a few $Ks, I do believe if I can do it so can the rest of the people even more so for those who are working and have a stable income. Perharps if she had heeded my advice earlier and start saving some $$ a few years back things will b different today, she'll b able to get her things she wan as and when she wan.Anyway no use crying over spilled milk wat's pass had pass.Just forget it.Just start from now.
I don't know what she take me for, but I do take her very seriously though we're not legally married, I've already considered her to b like a wife to me. I tell her almost everything and discuss with her over most matters(say except those that I forgot or those that need a speedy resolution). To me she give me the feeling that she will only come to me when she has a problem. example the insurance case, I don't even know that she bought a policy until she have already subscriped to it for almost year. Then i only came to know abt it when she wanted to terminate. In other stuffs though she came to seek my advice and though after we've discuss and come to a agreement on the next action step, she'll not execute it. Why is that so? Is it bcos I am not working and inexperienced so my advices are mostly "rubbish"? or is it I am just simply taken for granted? I dunno...*sigh*
Breakdown of dd's pay and my calculations:
income:
Take home pay :$1880
fixed expenditures:
Car monthly instalments :$285
Home allowance(home Tax) :$500
Season parking (monthly) :$75
car insurance (monthly) :~$200
var expenditures:
Food :$100 ($5 every meal,a month ~20 working days $5x20=100)
Transport :$~50 ($2 everyday($0.83 a trip) + some unexpected trips)
Car petrol,parking :$50(conservative figure hopefully can meet)
coupons, cash card
thus she still should have $620 if my calculations are correct and she still have to spend on some hidden stuffs like facials, Amore membership, etc...
Well hope everything work out well...well just voicing out my tots no hard feelings...just feel better after voicing out my concerns...
Sorry DD okok?
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Money Woes
Grrrr.... today feeling quite frustrated cos had a argument wif my dd over some $$ matters...situation is like this, earlier she has decided that she won't give more than the $500 allowance including fees for the graduation photo shoot that she's gg to take. The shoot itself costs $488, abit extravagant right? ok but nvm since mabbe to her this is the proudest moment in her life to be a graduate. then including makeup for her grandmas, the cost should be around $600. then she've already paid $300 for the shoot alone and then give another $500 to her mum. so altogther this month she've spend $800 , and previously as agreed she say this month she'll not spend more than $500(includ allowance)...so can u see wat's happening? I feel very disappointed bcos I feel that if one make some promises, they should fufill it, if say dun give more than $500 then must keep it tat way mah.else people will keep on pushing and pushing..u give them a inch, they wan a yard. that's the way ppl are. I feel that my dd should protect herself lor and not keep being so submissive to her u-know-who. She should think for herself also...not say that she dosen't give them any allowance.
The reason i 'encourage' her to buy her car is to let her learn how to save. Frankly speaking her family dosen't have a good saving culture, They'll just spend and think later. So when there's some situation that requires $$, they'll just go 'borrow(or rather extort)' $$ from my dd which i feel is very wrong lor... I wan my dd to learn the virtues of saving. I never expect her to be as frugal as me(I spend only abt $200 a month),i've been taught since young to save $$.For my brothers and I, usually we'll only spend 1/2 of our pocket $$ and save the rest..but it's not for their case.
when they wan something then they start saving for it else they just spend everything.
Frankly I'm unhappy because my dd isn't firm enough to stick to wat she has said or agreed. When her ... wants $$, even though she has made up her mind not to give any more $$ for the month she'll still give. She's just too soft hearted. And she said her dad trying to shelter them and not make them lose face or watever. To me, their lifestyle is simply too extravagant. If not so well off then live a not-so-well-off life lah. No need for top of the range audio sys, BIG TV, fastest computer,NEWEST MP3 etc... I'm still living w/o air conditioning u noe and I'm quite satisfied.
Like her dad, i'm also trying to protect her, but not frm outsiders but frm her own family. I feel that they are treating her like a $$ tree. She must noe how to stand up for herself, have her own principles, NO means NO. YES means YES. Simple as tat. I don't want to see the scenerio whereby her car gets tow away for a few months stay at Maybank's car pound or that her life is so miserable bcos of the car. her salary is definitely enough to support a OPC but she has no xtra $$ to give to her parents for NEW gadgets. That's why I wan her to protect herself...If come to the point whereby i've have to stand up for her that would be disasterous, I dun wan to sour relationship between me and her parents that would put her in a tight spot i noe.
I know she didn't anyhow spend her $$ but if she gave the $$ she saved up to her parents for her bro's hi-tech gadgets that wat's the pt? It'll still come one full circle to sq 1.
I never expect her to return the $2k I gave for the downpayment and I never expected her to contribute any $$ for our future marriage purpose athough I hope that she'll be able to contribute some. All this while i've been trying to save as much as possible. I'm very tired also u noe, everyday lunchtime look for the cheapest food possible, control myself not to buy some things that I wish I could have,how to save more $$. Imagine if I am like her, dun have the habit of saving and dun even think of marriage at all then wat will happen mabbe the whole marriage thing will only b a dream. cos even 5-6 years down the rd we'll still b penniless. Is that the ideal situation. I dun understand why my dd keep thinking that my plan to marry at 28 is termed 'marry early' is 28++ yrs old young?? I've keep having tots of giving up the whole savings thing all together and leave everything to fate and destiny but just feel it's not right lor. so wat to do? just have to clench my teeth and trudge on...
Really very disheartening to see that ur love 1s spending their $$ away when u're trying to hard to save, especially so for me bcos i am not working so i can only save very little so after a lot of effot the amt only increase by a little...so sianz...
The reason i say put the $$ for the car insurance in another place is that I wan to try not to withdraw any $$ from our UOB acct. cos I'm afraid it'll bcome a habit, whenever have problems then think of $$ frm there.
Problems dun solve by themselves just like knots, u dun untie them the knor till just remain there.
Problems will only decrease when u solve them 1 by 1 if u just leave it there other problems will of cos add up. Simple theory right? To solve them u just have to b firm, once u've decided on wat to do just go and execute. U may hav a grand plan but if u dun execute it it'll just b a plan.Have some principles, dun sway from ur intended path.
The reason i 'encourage' her to buy her car is to let her learn how to save. Frankly speaking her family dosen't have a good saving culture, They'll just spend and think later. So when there's some situation that requires $$, they'll just go 'borrow(or rather extort)' $$ from my dd which i feel is very wrong lor... I wan my dd to learn the virtues of saving. I never expect her to be as frugal as me(I spend only abt $200 a month),i've been taught since young to save $$.For my brothers and I, usually we'll only spend 1/2 of our pocket $$ and save the rest..but it's not for their case.
when they wan something then they start saving for it else they just spend everything.
Frankly I'm unhappy because my dd isn't firm enough to stick to wat she has said or agreed. When her ... wants $$, even though she has made up her mind not to give any more $$ for the month she'll still give. She's just too soft hearted. And she said her dad trying to shelter them and not make them lose face or watever. To me, their lifestyle is simply too extravagant. If not so well off then live a not-so-well-off life lah. No need for top of the range audio sys, BIG TV, fastest computer,NEWEST MP3 etc... I'm still living w/o air conditioning u noe and I'm quite satisfied.
Like her dad, i'm also trying to protect her, but not frm outsiders but frm her own family. I feel that they are treating her like a $$ tree. She must noe how to stand up for herself, have her own principles, NO means NO. YES means YES. Simple as tat. I don't want to see the scenerio whereby her car gets tow away for a few months stay at Maybank's car pound or that her life is so miserable bcos of the car. her salary is definitely enough to support a OPC but she has no xtra $$ to give to her parents for NEW gadgets. That's why I wan her to protect herself...If come to the point whereby i've have to stand up for her that would be disasterous, I dun wan to sour relationship between me and her parents that would put her in a tight spot i noe.
I know she didn't anyhow spend her $$ but if she gave the $$ she saved up to her parents for her bro's hi-tech gadgets that wat's the pt? It'll still come one full circle to sq 1.
I never expect her to return the $2k I gave for the downpayment and I never expected her to contribute any $$ for our future marriage purpose athough I hope that she'll be able to contribute some. All this while i've been trying to save as much as possible. I'm very tired also u noe, everyday lunchtime look for the cheapest food possible, control myself not to buy some things that I wish I could have,how to save more $$. Imagine if I am like her, dun have the habit of saving and dun even think of marriage at all then wat will happen mabbe the whole marriage thing will only b a dream. cos even 5-6 years down the rd we'll still b penniless. Is that the ideal situation. I dun understand why my dd keep thinking that my plan to marry at 28 is termed 'marry early' is 28++ yrs old young?? I've keep having tots of giving up the whole savings thing all together and leave everything to fate and destiny but just feel it's not right lor. so wat to do? just have to clench my teeth and trudge on...
Really very disheartening to see that ur love 1s spending their $$ away when u're trying to hard to save, especially so for me bcos i am not working so i can only save very little so after a lot of effot the amt only increase by a little...so sianz...
The reason i say put the $$ for the car insurance in another place is that I wan to try not to withdraw any $$ from our UOB acct. cos I'm afraid it'll bcome a habit, whenever have problems then think of $$ frm there.
Problems dun solve by themselves just like knots, u dun untie them the knor till just remain there.
Problems will only decrease when u solve them 1 by 1 if u just leave it there other problems will of cos add up. Simple theory right? To solve them u just have to b firm, once u've decided on wat to do just go and execute. U may hav a grand plan but if u dun execute it it'll just b a plan.Have some principles, dun sway from ur intended path.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
RSS Feed (xml)
