Grr..
just recieved my new SAFRA card, Thought that my safra membership will automatically be void once the old card expired this March but little did I know that they deduct $32 from my IPPT money and send me the new card... Sound a bit like those credit card scam rite? they never inform me that the membership will be automatically renewed if I didn't inform them... Feel so cheated.. hard to imagine such a big (and rich) organisation also uses such "tactics"...
One happy thing is that I've recieve the last instalment of my pay from Toshiba... hohoho good now nobody owe me any money (IPPT money also in already, but $32 short), also means no more money coming in sob... sob..
Haiz yesterday failed my first job interview.. Interviewed by a guy from IDS International... he said he's a IT company, very big and a MNC..and he's the software vendor for the dutch bank ABN AMRO need assistants like us to install his so-call security software to every users. During the interview, he asked for the EXACT words /sentence I would use to "persuade" the users to let me install the software into their computers. Wow sounds abit like sales right? guess i am not eloquent enough ..I beta stick to being a engineer haha.. anyway take the interview as a learning experience lor..no hard feelings on hearing that I dun really like the job also (haha no sour grapes here..)
Had a little tiff wif dd yesterday, I know she's under alot of stress this week because she suspect her dog got illness. somemore she's worried about her confirmation. so everytime I "type" to her in MSN, I will get the "NO MOOD" response..every conversation sure have this words.. make me quite frustrated as well cos typing to her is like she's not that interested also... her whole mind is about her doggie.. I think the best way is not to talk to her till sat after she visited the vet(with her dog of cos). Only then will she set her mind at ease. then can talk..else typing/talking to her grrrrrr make people feel so frustrating, can't help but make a jibe at her yesterday...
I feel I've slipped further down the rungs again... To me, I feel like my status is just her punching bag, for her to vent frustrations at me. whereelse all her love is divided between her dog, her family and her car. I feel so unimportant... way behind all those things/persons I've mentioned. Last time is only persons, now still have a dog and a car slotted in front of me..pushing me further down... She always say I can take care of myself so she pays more attention to her dog, but being able to take care of myself means I dun need TLC from my beloved? mabbe I am just being too sensitive (or it's because I am too free these days to think abt all these)watever the case I can't help but feel that I am more and more "unimportant" to her...
The dd I wan is someone who will love me with all her heart and must place a certain "importance" to me. At least she must make me feel that I'm important to her. And this is the dd I used to know in the past. but now with the new additions and new love I dun feel that "importance" anymore. Or rather I am feeling more and more unimportant...
Perharps I should contract a serious illness then I will know how and where she values me...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Saturday, June 25, 2005
NDP Preview Tickets!
Yeah I got my NDP preview tickets...
Though it's not the tickets to the actual day but still very happy cos I think I haven't been able to get such tickets for quite a long time already...
No need to queue overnight also..Yeah! Got a pair means can go with dd liao...
Look here's the tickets below...
Though it's not the tickets to the actual day but still very happy cos I think I haven't been able to get such tickets for quite a long time already...
No need to queue overnight also..Yeah! Got a pair means can go with dd liao...
Look here's the tickets below...
Friday, June 24, 2005
NS = King ah?
My younger bro recently got enlisted into army, been complaining that he got no time for this and for that lah...so my mum took his words literally and helped him with this and tat. Like when he needed some stuffs, she would go and buy it for him straightaway... or she would ask my youngest bro to serve him..like bring him his food and drinks (up to him) etc...
And then the problem is I don't see him having no time to do these stuffs himself, when he comes back he would be on the computer playing games or writing blogs or in MSN chating with god-knows-who. If he comes back at 7pm( nites off) then he would be seated in front of the computer from 715(computer need sometime to startup) till 30-45mins before the time he needs to book in. and when he comes back for the weekends he would be seated the whole day pausing only for a 30min lunch/dinner break.
If he's tired bcos of NS training, he should be sleeping rite? I dun see such a case in him leh...And I definitely do see a need to treat him like a king (do everything for him) when he comes back...
Yesterday I so fed up with my mum's constant helping that I spoke up... Wah NS=King ah? must help him do everything, he cannot do by himself meh? perharps I have always been quite independent at home, whenever possible I tried to do everything myself instead of relying on others that's why I see my NS bro's behavior I am very pissed off... One time when the kettle is boiling and he never even bother to go turn off the gas when everyone is busy and he's the most free (playing computer games) he acted like he never heard the sound of the whistling kettle... Grrr...
Ok back to the topic, when I spoke up my mum say I am very selfish dun wan to help him blah blah blah and not "qing qin" sibling love watever... wah kaoz! so angry with that remark. TO show that we care for siblings mean that we have to treat them like king? serve them? do watever they wan to do? then ok why not he serve me and help me do watever I wan? wat's this? *&%#@
then we went to the topic of buying b'fast every sun morn. usually it's either my parents of I went downstairs to buy... since they brought up this topic so I reminded them that it's usu. me... then my dad says the others haben wake up so i should go buy..wah so means that those who wake up early will have to serve those who wake up late lah? waking up late bcomes a excuse for laziness? my fault for waking up early?
where's the logic? I tell u this, my eldest bro and the NS bro sometimes purposely dun wan to wake up cos they dun wan to go down and buy b'fast. actually they have already woken but they still lie in bed. How come I noe, cos when I open the door when i came back wif b'fast, they would then come out...very sharp one timing also precise... coincidence mabbe? haha I doubt so.. so I was complaining that it's quite unfair... then my mum started all her cock-and-bull story of wat qing qin lah bros must help lah etc....
Grrr.....
And then the problem is I don't see him having no time to do these stuffs himself, when he comes back he would be on the computer playing games or writing blogs or in MSN chating with god-knows-who. If he comes back at 7pm( nites off) then he would be seated in front of the computer from 715(computer need sometime to startup) till 30-45mins before the time he needs to book in. and when he comes back for the weekends he would be seated the whole day pausing only for a 30min lunch/dinner break.
If he's tired bcos of NS training, he should be sleeping rite? I dun see such a case in him leh...And I definitely do see a need to treat him like a king (do everything for him) when he comes back...
Yesterday I so fed up with my mum's constant helping that I spoke up... Wah NS=King ah? must help him do everything, he cannot do by himself meh? perharps I have always been quite independent at home, whenever possible I tried to do everything myself instead of relying on others that's why I see my NS bro's behavior I am very pissed off... One time when the kettle is boiling and he never even bother to go turn off the gas when everyone is busy and he's the most free (playing computer games) he acted like he never heard the sound of the whistling kettle... Grrr...
Ok back to the topic, when I spoke up my mum say I am very selfish dun wan to help him blah blah blah and not "qing qin" sibling love watever... wah kaoz! so angry with that remark. TO show that we care for siblings mean that we have to treat them like king? serve them? do watever they wan to do? then ok why not he serve me and help me do watever I wan? wat's this? *&%#@
then we went to the topic of buying b'fast every sun morn. usually it's either my parents of I went downstairs to buy... since they brought up this topic so I reminded them that it's usu. me... then my dad says the others haben wake up so i should go buy..wah so means that those who wake up early will have to serve those who wake up late lah? waking up late bcomes a excuse for laziness? my fault for waking up early?
where's the logic? I tell u this, my eldest bro and the NS bro sometimes purposely dun wan to wake up cos they dun wan to go down and buy b'fast. actually they have already woken but they still lie in bed. How come I noe, cos when I open the door when i came back wif b'fast, they would then come out...very sharp one timing also precise... coincidence mabbe? haha I doubt so.. so I was complaining that it's quite unfair... then my mum started all her cock-and-bull story of wat qing qin lah bros must help lah etc....
Grrr.....
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Super Sianz Ahhhhhhhhh!
Just finished my attachment, so sianz at home nothing to do...Sighz can't find a suitable temp job also...so wat to do? gotta stay at home and rot lor...haha
nothing to do so decided to write(or type) lor...
Ah dd's family having problems financially again... common occurance boo hoo hoo. heard from dd that her mum have to go prawn jewlleries to buy clothes(~$200) for her bro and a $500 cupboard to keep his medals and game consoles.
I dunno why but i find them to be a strange family, they always seems to like the idea of spend-first-plan-later while i believe in doing things in the inverse way that is plan-first-spend-later. It seems that their parents like to buy those expensive stuffs even though sometimes they will be penniless after that. Why? I just dun understand...from wat dd say her dad wants to protect her and her bro so that ppl will not look down on them. So mabbe her dad(& mum) thinks that by having all the ex stuffs , it will show that they have a certain standard of living and ppl will not look down on them... Wat's the point? They are not that poor neither are they that rich... why must they keep buying stuffs that are not that important? I heard a salesman tell me this and I think it's very meaningful... "In Singapore you wun die, if you can only are poor than u live a poorer lifestyle lor, if you are rich then u live a richer lifestyle" which is very true. if you are poor what for u try to live a rich lifestyle? if ppl wan to look down on u then let them lor, wat's more impt? face or filling ur stomach? buying expensive stuffs can't fill ur stomach when u are hungry rite? Dunno y they can't see that...I think I may be wrong to critise her family like that but I think sometimes frm my observation over the years that her parents (esp her mum) are still quite naive... backdated thinking
and her bro too - should know that they have some problems financially, so should try to help by spending less and not spend more... so wat if he signs on? if he earns more then he will spend more...
dd's parents always ask her for $$, and never from her bro. dunno wat kind of thinking is that... mabbe they think that daughter will get married then will b other ppl's daughter already so must use the chance to squeeze every cent from her... and poor dd always have to give in to them cos she's very soft-hearted (to them only) even though she can scream and shout at every other person (including me). so all her $$ will be channeled there.
I used to have a wishful thinking that the big sum of $$ needed for our marriage can be saved by the both of us.. but I guess such a tot is pretty far-fetch now. If she keeps giving them $ then she can't save. If she dun give she will be the "unfillial child". Anyway I've quarrelled many times with her over these so much so until I am so sick and tired of these. She have to choose which side to "scarifice". Either our marriage plans or her parents guess it's quite a tough decision. But guess her parents is more important than anything else... Frankly speaking, I really wish she could contribute some amount to the marriage funds bcos the sums involved is really quite large...
So wat can I do? just have to keep trying to save as much as possible lor...else how? dunno how long that's gg to take...Lucky thing is that my parents(at least for now) are not like hers else really die ..think we will not be able to get married tis lifetime liao..
Anyway I think keep giving her parents $$ whenever they wan is also not a solution...
Must try to work frm the bro and her parents...ask them to change, make her bro realise the situation they are facing... and her parents to realise wat they are doing is so senseless...
If they had planned for everything years earlier and started saving then perharps now her bro dun even need to sign on to get the $$ for his Uni fees... No Big TV, no DVD player, NO PS2, no Home theatre speakers, No camcorder, No $1000 handphone... somemore they bought it when the product was just launched, imagine the price they paid then and the price now... haha all bcos of some "face" issue...
Anyway ppl will noe that her bro signed on bcos of the $$ (even though some ppl signed on bcos they LOVED SAF, but who believes?), and wat does that means? most ppl will think that it's cos his family not $$ to send him to U... so see the pt? ex or no ex gadgets, we have come one full circle and still "lose face"....
nothing to do so decided to write(or type) lor...
Ah dd's family having problems financially again... common occurance boo hoo hoo. heard from dd that her mum have to go prawn jewlleries to buy clothes(~$200) for her bro and a $500 cupboard to keep his medals and game consoles.
I dunno why but i find them to be a strange family, they always seems to like the idea of spend-first-plan-later while i believe in doing things in the inverse way that is plan-first-spend-later. It seems that their parents like to buy those expensive stuffs even though sometimes they will be penniless after that. Why? I just dun understand...from wat dd say her dad wants to protect her and her bro so that ppl will not look down on them. So mabbe her dad(& mum) thinks that by having all the ex stuffs , it will show that they have a certain standard of living and ppl will not look down on them... Wat's the point? They are not that poor neither are they that rich... why must they keep buying stuffs that are not that important? I heard a salesman tell me this and I think it's very meaningful... "In Singapore you wun die, if you can only are poor than u live a poorer lifestyle lor, if you are rich then u live a richer lifestyle" which is very true. if you are poor what for u try to live a rich lifestyle? if ppl wan to look down on u then let them lor, wat's more impt? face or filling ur stomach? buying expensive stuffs can't fill ur stomach when u are hungry rite? Dunno y they can't see that...I think I may be wrong to critise her family like that but I think sometimes frm my observation over the years that her parents (esp her mum) are still quite naive... backdated thinking
and her bro too - should know that they have some problems financially, so should try to help by spending less and not spend more... so wat if he signs on? if he earns more then he will spend more...
dd's parents always ask her for $$, and never from her bro. dunno wat kind of thinking is that... mabbe they think that daughter will get married then will b other ppl's daughter already so must use the chance to squeeze every cent from her... and poor dd always have to give in to them cos she's very soft-hearted (to them only) even though she can scream and shout at every other person (including me). so all her $$ will be channeled there.
I used to have a wishful thinking that the big sum of $$ needed for our marriage can be saved by the both of us.. but I guess such a tot is pretty far-fetch now. If she keeps giving them $ then she can't save. If she dun give she will be the "unfillial child". Anyway I've quarrelled many times with her over these so much so until I am so sick and tired of these. She have to choose which side to "scarifice". Either our marriage plans or her parents guess it's quite a tough decision. But guess her parents is more important than anything else... Frankly speaking, I really wish she could contribute some amount to the marriage funds bcos the sums involved is really quite large...
So wat can I do? just have to keep trying to save as much as possible lor...else how? dunno how long that's gg to take...Lucky thing is that my parents(at least for now) are not like hers else really die ..think we will not be able to get married tis lifetime liao..
Anyway I think keep giving her parents $$ whenever they wan is also not a solution...
Must try to work frm the bro and her parents...ask them to change, make her bro realise the situation they are facing... and her parents to realise wat they are doing is so senseless...
If they had planned for everything years earlier and started saving then perharps now her bro dun even need to sign on to get the $$ for his Uni fees... No Big TV, no DVD player, NO PS2, no Home theatre speakers, No camcorder, No $1000 handphone... somemore they bought it when the product was just launched, imagine the price they paid then and the price now... haha all bcos of some "face" issue...
Anyway ppl will noe that her bro signed on bcos of the $$ (even though some ppl signed on bcos they LOVED SAF, but who believes?), and wat does that means? most ppl will think that it's cos his family not $$ to send him to U... so see the pt? ex or no ex gadgets, we have come one full circle and still "lose face"....
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Double Happiness
So happy this week,
Recieved a call from the NDP organisers on thursday that my application for a NDP preview ticket have beeen successful haha...So many years didn't go NDP already so happy and excited that I managed to get 2 tickets from the ballot. Although it's only a preview ticket but I am contented at least there are many many more other singaporeans who can't get any tickets...haha Actually I am more concern abt the goodie bags haha always got many things inside...haha
Then sat(which is today) went for my 2nd non-ICT IPPT at Maju Camp. So happy managed to get GOLD again... My left shoelaces came off halfway during the 2.4 KM run then I have to re-tie it so worried that this little incident will make me lose many seconds and there goes my GOLD and my $400 from the govt...But luckily still managed to make it back in time for GOLD.. Yeah! gonna get $400 more in acct soon... more $ into my "L" driving funds hehe
Yesterday eat roti prata at Bukit Timah with dd, expensive roti prata and not nice somemore... worse than the roti prata then the ones sold at the coffeshop near my place. Grrr... kena cheated by dd's brother say that they roti prata there nice...Even a "sui pian" eater like me also find the prata there not nice. can even taste some uncooked flour...
Yesterday was also my Last day at Toshiba Electronics... Well nothing special from any of my bosses, small and big bosses also nv treat me lunch, dinner or anything..super stingy. Spent the last 2 days writing codes to analyse directories and MP3/WMA files cos I am TERIBBLY BORED...make my boss so happy cos means he got 1 thing less to do mah haha...
Aiyah now out of job no $ anymore, called a few job agencies but they also can't find any suitable temp jobs for me(cos I only got 1 more month free mah) think gonna stay at hm and rot till sch reopen liao lor... looking forward to next month...if dd kena confirmed than we can go celebrate and eat CRABs! long time no eat crabs liao lor...Yum Yum. Maybe I will be the one paying lah but nvm...DDs shouldn't be too calculating to each other right?
Recieved a call from the NDP organisers on thursday that my application for a NDP preview ticket have beeen successful haha...So many years didn't go NDP already so happy and excited that I managed to get 2 tickets from the ballot. Although it's only a preview ticket but I am contented at least there are many many more other singaporeans who can't get any tickets...haha Actually I am more concern abt the goodie bags haha always got many things inside...haha
Then sat(which is today) went for my 2nd non-ICT IPPT at Maju Camp. So happy managed to get GOLD again... My left shoelaces came off halfway during the 2.4 KM run then I have to re-tie it so worried that this little incident will make me lose many seconds and there goes my GOLD and my $400 from the govt...But luckily still managed to make it back in time for GOLD.. Yeah! gonna get $400 more in acct soon... more $ into my "L" driving funds hehe
Yesterday eat roti prata at Bukit Timah with dd, expensive roti prata and not nice somemore... worse than the roti prata then the ones sold at the coffeshop near my place. Grrr... kena cheated by dd's brother say that they roti prata there nice...Even a "sui pian" eater like me also find the prata there not nice. can even taste some uncooked flour...
Yesterday was also my Last day at Toshiba Electronics... Well nothing special from any of my bosses, small and big bosses also nv treat me lunch, dinner or anything..super stingy. Spent the last 2 days writing codes to analyse directories and MP3/WMA files cos I am TERIBBLY BORED...make my boss so happy cos means he got 1 thing less to do mah haha...
Aiyah now out of job no $ anymore, called a few job agencies but they also can't find any suitable temp jobs for me(cos I only got 1 more month free mah) think gonna stay at hm and rot till sch reopen liao lor... looking forward to next month...if dd kena confirmed than we can go celebrate and eat CRABs! long time no eat crabs liao lor...Yum Yum. Maybe I will be the one paying lah but nvm...DDs shouldn't be too calculating to each other right?
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Lost Control
I don't know why these few days I've been jittery. I keep fearing that dd will not be able to save $. Or fear that even if she do manage to save, her $ will be siphon off by some people. I know dd dun like me to keep bringing this up and I kept telling myself not to think about this matter, I dun know why I just can't. Maybe it's because I had high hopes for our future. Or mabbe it's because I still can't get over the fact that i help dd to purchase her car but now I am left with nothing.
Or it's the combination of both. I guess it's the fear of losing everything. I've no choice, I've to write it down somewhere..
I am left puzzled, previously, she's so adamant that she put her savings into our OUB acct to keep them away from the prying eyes of her mum, but now all of a suddenly she's dropped her interest totally, very unwilling to do so. a full 180 degrees change. I know their family's spending habits that's why I still think it's a better idea to keep them in a safe place. I will NEVER touch the $. Maybe it's beacause she is afraid that I will runaway with her $. If we can't even have the simple trust between us then how are we gg to live together in the future?
I guess the best thing for me to do now is to forget the whole matter, and leave everything to fate, do it in her family's style if got $ then marry if no $ then wait.. wait.. wait... Guess that's the only way to keep all of us happy, at least most...
All I need now is answer, an assurance from dd that she will safeguard her $ carefully and keep steering towards our common cause. Somehow or rather I feel that she's hiding something from me and i feel it's some $ things. perharps i am too sensitive, afterall to me, there's suppose to be no secrets between us.
Must quickly forget the whole thing and be happy again...
Or it's the combination of both. I guess it's the fear of losing everything. I've no choice, I've to write it down somewhere..
I am left puzzled, previously, she's so adamant that she put her savings into our OUB acct to keep them away from the prying eyes of her mum, but now all of a suddenly she's dropped her interest totally, very unwilling to do so. a full 180 degrees change. I know their family's spending habits that's why I still think it's a better idea to keep them in a safe place. I will NEVER touch the $. Maybe it's beacause she is afraid that I will runaway with her $. If we can't even have the simple trust between us then how are we gg to live together in the future?
I guess the best thing for me to do now is to forget the whole matter, and leave everything to fate, do it in her family's style if got $ then marry if no $ then wait.. wait.. wait... Guess that's the only way to keep all of us happy, at least most...
All I need now is answer, an assurance from dd that she will safeguard her $ carefully and keep steering towards our common cause. Somehow or rather I feel that she's hiding something from me and i feel it's some $ things. perharps i am too sensitive, afterall to me, there's suppose to be no secrets between us.
Must quickly forget the whole thing and be happy again...
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
No more driving lessons blogs
Hmm I think I shall not write anymore stuffs about my practical driving lessons in my blog anymore. Whenever I write something, someone says that I am showing off when everything I wrote is the entire truth just a narration of wat happen that day. to think that it's the same person who ask me to write and that person seems uninterested to listen to my mini adventures also, shall not "show off" anymore...Grrr...
Coffers running low already, must think of ways to spend less and/or generate some income...Coming to the end of my attachment, going to be out-of-job soon. Dunno whether to find some work or rest till school reopens, next year is going to be tough, most of my frens went overseas to take a break already. No $ for me sighz think, for my case cannot rest for the month long holiday, have to find some work, hopefully to "replenish" my dwindling $ supply.
Coffers running low already, must think of ways to spend less and/or generate some income...Coming to the end of my attachment, going to be out-of-job soon. Dunno whether to find some work or rest till school reopens, next year is going to be tough, most of my frens went overseas to take a break already. No $ for me sighz think, for my case cannot rest for the month long holiday, have to find some work, hopefully to "replenish" my dwindling $ supply.
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Driving Lesson #4
Today went for my 4th practical lesson, car died when I was trying to move up a slope from stop position. Haha too anxious according to my instructor, but nevertheless that's the only time my engine died for the whole lesson. Today we went to bukit panjang and Yew Tee to tour, every driving lesson seems like a joyride to me and my instructor. My insructor said that my driving skills on the public road is OK already that's why he never teach me how to make turns because I am doing OK, he said I just need to polish up the way I view hazards at traffic junctions. And of cos I still need to go to carpark to learn some parking and to sharpen my turning skills. then I can stop for a while and wait for my practical test. Wah so happy, my instructor actually regard me so highly, I only attended my 4th lesson leh. Anyhow today I managed to improve on my clutch -accelerator control. Not that much jerks liao, quite smooth....but i feel I must still practise more...He said after a few more lessons than must go to a carpark and practise parking already, and mabbe also moving off on slopes that I think I am quite weak, strangely I executed the same movement as I did for army trucks but it's not that smooth for car and engine even died once. Hmmm think the 2 methods are different must get the army driving out of my mind and concentrate on car one... Ah another thing, same comments from him about me every lesson, "I am too safe!"
Must quickly pass the test, so that I can drive dd around...pray pray...
Must quickly pass the test, so that I can drive dd around...pray pray...
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Driving Lesson #3
Well just finished my 3rd driving lesson, nothing eventful for this lesson. Raining the whole while. So my view is kinda foggy plus my instructor car's wiper isn't all that excellent thus no matter what speed I turn to, after every wipes the windscreen is still abit on the foggy side haha. But nvm still can see... Think his wiper is abit loose...haha
today he made me do alot of turns at the minor roads in bukit batok, right turns, left turns alot of turns turn until my head is also turning. Strangely today he never take me on the 70km/h road and let me cruise at 70km/h like he did last lesson. The moment i hit about 65km/h, he told me to turn left (the 70km/h rd is the only road from my plc to bukit batok)into bukit batok.
He taught me to use my horn at jaywalkers and to c how to react according to jaywalkers who are in the midst of crossing the road or begining to cross the road. then outside Bukit Batok Drving Center (BBDC) I got to use wat he taught me. I horned at my first jaywalker a auntie lah who was trying to cross the road at the time, the moment she step out of the kerb i sound the horn already. Haha
One thing I find puzzling about my driving lessons and/or my driving instructor. He never tell me since lesson #1 when to start turning the steering wheel or when to return the steering wheel. He only taught me things to look out when turning. Even when I am makin sharp left turns, He only told me to look out for traffic and the blind spots... never told me how to and how much to turn the steering wheel at all. all the while I have been using my "fee" to make turns.. He simply have forgotten about that or I was doing the turns fine thus he think no need to teach me the turning parts? I dunno
The moment i started driving in his car he would chit chat with me about many things non stop until we ended driving and he would play his oldies music on the radio, instructor's job like very relaxing hor? haha
Oh then today also went to top up petrol at the Esso stn beside BBDC, Drat have to squeeze in between 2 cars who are also pumping petrol at that time to get to a pump. Luckily no buang any1 of them, he still ask me whether got enough space or not, I replied yes then he told me 'squeeze' through already. he trust me the "L" driver so much ah...haha
Overall I think today my driving is OK lah think should be quite good already, however I think I still abit "gan cheong" (panicky) when driving through junctions and still the vehicle jerks abit when moving off from rest(sometimes). Have to improve on these things. Instructor also say I am too "safe", keep looking at the sides when turning...tell me to confirmed already then go, no need to scare haha..Looks like next lesson have to be more daring and aggressive abit..haha
today he made me do alot of turns at the minor roads in bukit batok, right turns, left turns alot of turns turn until my head is also turning. Strangely today he never take me on the 70km/h road and let me cruise at 70km/h like he did last lesson. The moment i hit about 65km/h, he told me to turn left (the 70km/h rd is the only road from my plc to bukit batok)into bukit batok.
He taught me to use my horn at jaywalkers and to c how to react according to jaywalkers who are in the midst of crossing the road or begining to cross the road. then outside Bukit Batok Drving Center (BBDC) I got to use wat he taught me. I horned at my first jaywalker a auntie lah who was trying to cross the road at the time, the moment she step out of the kerb i sound the horn already. Haha
One thing I find puzzling about my driving lessons and/or my driving instructor. He never tell me since lesson #1 when to start turning the steering wheel or when to return the steering wheel. He only taught me things to look out when turning. Even when I am makin sharp left turns, He only told me to look out for traffic and the blind spots... never told me how to and how much to turn the steering wheel at all. all the while I have been using my "fee" to make turns.. He simply have forgotten about that or I was doing the turns fine thus he think no need to teach me the turning parts? I dunno
The moment i started driving in his car he would chit chat with me about many things non stop until we ended driving and he would play his oldies music on the radio, instructor's job like very relaxing hor? haha
Oh then today also went to top up petrol at the Esso stn beside BBDC, Drat have to squeeze in between 2 cars who are also pumping petrol at that time to get to a pump. Luckily no buang any1 of them, he still ask me whether got enough space or not, I replied yes then he told me 'squeeze' through already. he trust me the "L" driver so much ah...haha
Overall I think today my driving is OK lah think should be quite good already, however I think I still abit "gan cheong" (panicky) when driving through junctions and still the vehicle jerks abit when moving off from rest(sometimes). Have to improve on these things. Instructor also say I am too "safe", keep looking at the sides when turning...tell me to confirmed already then go, no need to scare haha..Looks like next lesson have to be more daring and aggressive abit..haha
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Drving Lessons
Haiz just starting my practical driving lessons, not very smooth, still can be improved..here are wat happen
LEsson #1
The instructor talked to me about some "theories" about the car and stuffs for almost an hr then I drove to Yew Tee and back the whole journey taking about 30mins. basically the instructor wans me to learn how to keep in lane and practice the clutch "biting point" and accelerator control. Alas my experience with driving is with big army trucks where their clutch and accelerator are stiffer. anyway no excuses, I kinda panick cos I am not used to the vehicle so the vehicle was jerking when it move from rest many of the times. anyway the instuctor complained that I was too slow though i was driving at about 50km/h whenever I can. Next time will try to drive faster.
Lesson #2
Today instuctor wan me to practice moving off without jerking, hmm initial stages I was doing quite well and I managed to get moving without much jerks. Then we drove to bukit batok where I drove at 70km/h at the long stretch of road. Ah this time he never complain that I was too slow. Then at those normal roads I drove at 50+ km/h this time he complain that I was too fast haha. Anyway today my leg control wasn't that good cos at some stage my legs were wobbling(make me throw clutch) and I dunno why thus today the car stalled a couple of times, 3 to be exact. haha mabbe I never adjusted the seat properly cos my heel seem to be stuck to the floor board thus I can't release the clutch properly. Will have to improve on this in the next lesson. Next we practice turning right at a junction where there are more than 1 right turning lane. Drat...I am too used to turning into the left-most lane thus when I switch to turn in the right-most lane I don't know the exact way to turn, i move straight then turn when i am in line with the lane(this is the method for turing into the left-most lane) then I got horned by the car beside me cos i was cutting into his lane..haha have to get this into my head that I am not driving a MID vehicle anymore...still need alot of improvements ah..like the checking blind spot part keep forgetting cos nv do it for long time already and I keep making wide turns(too used to long trucks grrr..)..haha
I think I trying to do too many things at same time thus make me very gan cheong (panick) must try to keep calm and relax abit.
LEsson #1
The instructor talked to me about some "theories" about the car and stuffs for almost an hr then I drove to Yew Tee and back the whole journey taking about 30mins. basically the instructor wans me to learn how to keep in lane and practice the clutch "biting point" and accelerator control. Alas my experience with driving is with big army trucks where their clutch and accelerator are stiffer. anyway no excuses, I kinda panick cos I am not used to the vehicle so the vehicle was jerking when it move from rest many of the times. anyway the instuctor complained that I was too slow though i was driving at about 50km/h whenever I can. Next time will try to drive faster.
Lesson #2
Today instuctor wan me to practice moving off without jerking, hmm initial stages I was doing quite well and I managed to get moving without much jerks. Then we drove to bukit batok where I drove at 70km/h at the long stretch of road. Ah this time he never complain that I was too slow. Then at those normal roads I drove at 50+ km/h this time he complain that I was too fast haha. Anyway today my leg control wasn't that good cos at some stage my legs were wobbling(make me throw clutch) and I dunno why thus today the car stalled a couple of times, 3 to be exact. haha mabbe I never adjusted the seat properly cos my heel seem to be stuck to the floor board thus I can't release the clutch properly. Will have to improve on this in the next lesson. Next we practice turning right at a junction where there are more than 1 right turning lane. Drat...I am too used to turning into the left-most lane thus when I switch to turn in the right-most lane I don't know the exact way to turn, i move straight then turn when i am in line with the lane(this is the method for turing into the left-most lane) then I got horned by the car beside me cos i was cutting into his lane..haha have to get this into my head that I am not driving a MID vehicle anymore...still need alot of improvements ah..like the checking blind spot part keep forgetting cos nv do it for long time already and I keep making wide turns(too used to long trucks grrr..)..haha
I think I trying to do too many things at same time thus make me very gan cheong (panick) must try to keep calm and relax abit.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Starting Driving lessons
Ah quite a busy day today, went to take my Final Theory test today, took only 20mins to finish the 50 qns which is even faster than the time I took for my Basic Theory Test.
Oh well hopefully I can pass the FTT. Pray...pray
then afternoon at 4pm started my 1st driving lesson...The instructor talk about everything about driving for an hour then let me drive for 30mins. drove to Yew Tee and back. Ah today didn't drive very well cos long time no drive already plus the controls are not as stiff as military vehicles. thus the feel is different guess I need more practice to be famalise with the car controls.
then the instuctor wan me to learn drv for 2 hrs per session...sighz gg to b tough on my pockets liao ...anyway promised my dd that I will learn and pass driving.
so guess the most important thing is to pass driving and not the $ part...
Oh well hopefully I can pass the FTT. Pray...pray
then afternoon at 4pm started my 1st driving lesson...The instructor talk about everything about driving for an hour then let me drive for 30mins. drove to Yew Tee and back. Ah today didn't drive very well cos long time no drive already plus the controls are not as stiff as military vehicles. thus the feel is different guess I need more practice to be famalise with the car controls.
then the instuctor wan me to learn drv for 2 hrs per session...sighz gg to b tough on my pockets liao ...anyway promised my dd that I will learn and pass driving.
so guess the most important thing is to pass driving and not the $ part...
Sunday, April 24, 2005
Panicky
Sighz rather panicky these few weeks. All because of DD's parents discovering that she now owns a car. Worried about wat? Well
1)Worried that she don't have the discipline to save for the car insurance, road tax ...then until the nearing the year end then she start to panick and save like mad.
2)Worried that her parents would ask her to buy these buy that for her "new" car until she has not enough $ to spend for the month.
3)Worried that her parents or bro would ask her to "lend" her car to her bro for some "driving lessons" around the carpark.
4)Worried that she will lend her car to her frens/relatives watever then they will buang(involved in accident). (And of cos won't pay for repairs) or she herself get involved in those accidents(non fatal) then she wun have $ to send in the car for repairs because of 1,2.
5)Worried that she would wan to "Show Off" then take her frens/relatives watever on joyrides to far places which will waste alot of petrol causing her to exceed her monthly budget.
6)Worried that because of 1,2,4 and 5 she will used up the $ meant for marriage.
This is why last week, I've sort of lost control of my emotions when she went to some re-spraying(which i feel is not needed). I dunno if she did sense that I really dun wan her to go, or that she nv did considered my feelings at all. I do realise that she would want to restore all minor defects to her new baby but to me I look at the bigger picture, think that it's better to let it be for the moment. Sometimes I think our roles are swapped, I am the more sensitive female and she is the male. Anyway these matter is over liao...so no pt talking abt it anymore.
Aiyah I also dunno why I became so paranoid, after all it isn't my car. Perharps I am also a bit attached to it as I went with her to every stage from the booking of the car to the collection of the car.
I kept saying that the $ for marriage I will save myself, but perharps I dun really meant what i said. I do hope that she can contribute some amount, but wif her parent's constant "gold panning" and her reluctant to refuse them I know it's gonna to be hard.However in my heart I do wish that she could at least try. I don't wan myself to be debt-ridden just because of marriage. With the job market so insecure, it's even more un-advisable to chalk up so much debts.
Planning to learn driving, but can't seem to find a suitable drving instructor, sianz cheap and preferably some1 acquainted, worried that i may get cheated by some stranger(after all planning to take from private instructor) lah haha. Those who collect fees from you then "disappear"
1)Worried that she don't have the discipline to save for the car insurance, road tax ...then until the nearing the year end then she start to panick and save like mad.
2)Worried that her parents would ask her to buy these buy that for her "new" car until she has not enough $ to spend for the month.
3)Worried that her parents or bro would ask her to "lend" her car to her bro for some "driving lessons" around the carpark.
4)Worried that she will lend her car to her frens/relatives watever then they will buang(involved in accident). (And of cos won't pay for repairs) or she herself get involved in those accidents(non fatal) then she wun have $ to send in the car for repairs because of 1,2.
5)Worried that she would wan to "Show Off" then take her frens/relatives watever on joyrides to far places which will waste alot of petrol causing her to exceed her monthly budget.
6)Worried that because of 1,2,4 and 5 she will used up the $ meant for marriage.
This is why last week, I've sort of lost control of my emotions when she went to some re-spraying(which i feel is not needed). I dunno if she did sense that I really dun wan her to go, or that she nv did considered my feelings at all. I do realise that she would want to restore all minor defects to her new baby but to me I look at the bigger picture, think that it's better to let it be for the moment. Sometimes I think our roles are swapped, I am the more sensitive female and she is the male. Anyway these matter is over liao...so no pt talking abt it anymore.
Aiyah I also dunno why I became so paranoid, after all it isn't my car. Perharps I am also a bit attached to it as I went with her to every stage from the booking of the car to the collection of the car.
I kept saying that the $ for marriage I will save myself, but perharps I dun really meant what i said. I do hope that she can contribute some amount, but wif her parent's constant "gold panning" and her reluctant to refuse them I know it's gonna to be hard.However in my heart I do wish that she could at least try. I don't wan myself to be debt-ridden just because of marriage. With the job market so insecure, it's even more un-advisable to chalk up so much debts.
Planning to learn driving, but can't seem to find a suitable drving instructor, sianz cheap and preferably some1 acquainted, worried that i may get cheated by some stranger(after all planning to take from private instructor) lah haha. Those who collect fees from you then "disappear"
Monday, April 18, 2005
Let It Be...
SighZzz dd says she hated me now...
Perharps I did something wrong in agreeing on sat nite to let her send into the workshop but in fact I was silently hoping that she could back off at the last minute.
I keep telling myself to let it go, forget it...and I almost did..
then when the whole thing took so long until we can't even meet yesterday I became very angry again, Somemore when dd called to informed me that the whole thing could take quite a while, she sounded happy, like she thinks tat the $ was well-spent and it should b spent...All along to me it's a total waste...
the more I think abt it the siller I feel abt the whole thing then I could turn to no one but to write them all down...
I always think that we could sort things out but she got angry after reading what I wrote in the heat of the moment...now she dun even wan to talk to me...Fine
Let me be my fault, all my fault... I shouldn't have been too meddlesome, shouldn't have expect so much frm her, should have let her do everything her way, shouldn't have talk so much or provided her advices/solutions in the hope that she will follow them...(she never did anyway, facing me she has a mind of her own, facing others she will be manipulated by them)
Ya u can say I am calculating becos I keep reminding her abt $, but wat can I do? u wan me to stand and watch she sink deeper into the mire? or wait until everything's too late then start to voice out. I wan her to have a budget so that she will have enough to spend every month and possibly even some spare cash... No need to dig into her savings at all..U imagine this, if every month u have to dig into ur savings cos u are over budget then very soon even this little savings will run out. I dun wan her to develop this happen of keep touching her savings only use for emergencies...Is that wrong? Is that calculatives? why can't she see the hidden agenda?
She said she does have marriage on her minds..ya like keep saying that she wans this and tats for marriage. So this is her way of saying she have marriage on her mind right? As I mentioned earlier, mabbe I was wrong to expect too much frm her or expect her to put in the same effort as me..but in order to let her b a happy n beautiful bride I am constantly cracking my head on how to save more $, scimping and pinching everyday, then sudddenly u saw this "extravagant" thing happen, who won't be upset? At that instance I really feel that all my efforts are wasted u noe? Why can't she view it this way?
In my views, I dun think pacifying will get anyway, after all she've been pacifying her(her mum) and giving in all these years already but then wat happened? the same thing happen over and over again. So I feel perharps a hard approach would be better. Men are like tis u give them an in they wan a yard... when u r firm and they noe that they cannot gain any advantage then they will back off... After all they are mum n daughter so can't possibly carry on like tis 4ever...TO me she's please cos she has got her way and to put it crudely is "gloating" I dun understand why she's so happy over this...
She always say I dun understand her but have she taken some time to care about how I felt anot? HAve she ever taken time to note that throughout all these while she have never really listen and carry out any of my words, SHe will always listen to everyone except me. Wat other people told her is advice wat I told her is all crap.
I am sorry if I am too direct, I never chew my words...I was not born to please but to solve problems in the most correct way.
Who says I dun understand her? it's precisely this that I am so worried for her.
-I noe her mum is like that so I must ask her to stand up for herself keep giving in is definitely not a solution
-I noe she don't save that's why I ask her don't if possible touch her savings unless it's for emergencies, tis case is a non emergency and she went to touch of cos I am worried for her...
-I noe she will get angry(but didn't expect her to be so upset) but some1 will have to be the bad guy right?to constantly remind her else sooner or later everything will return to sq 1.
Anyway I've decided to give up, If she wants to carry on like this Let it be...I wash my hands off everything then perharps she will be happier and wun be sandwiched between her mum n me... I'll continue to play 2nd fiddle, shut my mouth up and just save $ quietly myself.Perharps this is the most ideal solution to her.After all in her eyes, I am nothing but a calculative, unreasonable, hard feeling , ignorant idiot who does not noe anything but scolding people....
My intentions not being appreciated is 1 thing, but being misunderstood is another...and it's really saddening
Perharps I did something wrong in agreeing on sat nite to let her send into the workshop but in fact I was silently hoping that she could back off at the last minute.
I keep telling myself to let it go, forget it...and I almost did..
then when the whole thing took so long until we can't even meet yesterday I became very angry again, Somemore when dd called to informed me that the whole thing could take quite a while, she sounded happy, like she thinks tat the $ was well-spent and it should b spent...All along to me it's a total waste...
the more I think abt it the siller I feel abt the whole thing then I could turn to no one but to write them all down...
I always think that we could sort things out but she got angry after reading what I wrote in the heat of the moment...now she dun even wan to talk to me...Fine
Let me be my fault, all my fault... I shouldn't have been too meddlesome, shouldn't have expect so much frm her, should have let her do everything her way, shouldn't have talk so much or provided her advices/solutions in the hope that she will follow them...(she never did anyway, facing me she has a mind of her own, facing others she will be manipulated by them)
Ya u can say I am calculating becos I keep reminding her abt $, but wat can I do? u wan me to stand and watch she sink deeper into the mire? or wait until everything's too late then start to voice out. I wan her to have a budget so that she will have enough to spend every month and possibly even some spare cash... No need to dig into her savings at all..U imagine this, if every month u have to dig into ur savings cos u are over budget then very soon even this little savings will run out. I dun wan her to develop this happen of keep touching her savings only use for emergencies...Is that wrong? Is that calculatives? why can't she see the hidden agenda?
She said she does have marriage on her minds..ya like keep saying that she wans this and tats for marriage. So this is her way of saying she have marriage on her mind right? As I mentioned earlier, mabbe I was wrong to expect too much frm her or expect her to put in the same effort as me..but in order to let her b a happy n beautiful bride I am constantly cracking my head on how to save more $, scimping and pinching everyday, then sudddenly u saw this "extravagant" thing happen, who won't be upset? At that instance I really feel that all my efforts are wasted u noe? Why can't she view it this way?
In my views, I dun think pacifying will get anyway, after all she've been pacifying her(her mum) and giving in all these years already but then wat happened? the same thing happen over and over again. So I feel perharps a hard approach would be better. Men are like tis u give them an in they wan a yard... when u r firm and they noe that they cannot gain any advantage then they will back off... After all they are mum n daughter so can't possibly carry on like tis 4ever...TO me she's please cos she has got her way and to put it crudely is "gloating" I dun understand why she's so happy over this...
She always say I dun understand her but have she taken some time to care about how I felt anot? HAve she ever taken time to note that throughout all these while she have never really listen and carry out any of my words, SHe will always listen to everyone except me. Wat other people told her is advice wat I told her is all crap.
I am sorry if I am too direct, I never chew my words...I was not born to please but to solve problems in the most correct way.
Who says I dun understand her? it's precisely this that I am so worried for her.
-I noe her mum is like that so I must ask her to stand up for herself keep giving in is definitely not a solution
-I noe she don't save that's why I ask her don't if possible touch her savings unless it's for emergencies, tis case is a non emergency and she went to touch of cos I am worried for her...
-I noe she will get angry(but didn't expect her to be so upset) but some1 will have to be the bad guy right?to constantly remind her else sooner or later everything will return to sq 1.
Anyway I've decided to give up, If she wants to carry on like this Let it be...I wash my hands off everything then perharps she will be happier and wun be sandwiched between her mum n me... I'll continue to play 2nd fiddle, shut my mouth up and just save $ quietly myself.Perharps this is the most ideal solution to her.After all in her eyes, I am nothing but a calculative, unreasonable, hard feeling , ignorant idiot who does not noe anything but scolding people....
My intentions not being appreciated is 1 thing, but being misunderstood is another...and it's really saddening
Sunday, April 17, 2005
DD's angry
Now dd is angry wif me..saying that I am not supportive of her and keep scolding her...Nv understand her predicament etc...
Truth is in fact I did ok...I noe her mum is like that but the best way to keep her from doing all these stupid things is not to give in to her let them noe that u are firm then they will noe u can't b pushed...
I just dun understand why she can't see the whole picture, the bigger picture...I am not trying cause a rift in her family but if she keeps giving in like that then there will be no end to trouble only when the other party noes u can't be pushed around then the whole thing will stop.
I dun understand why she cannot realise that everything is for her own good... Not that I feel totally right, in fact I do agree that mabbe my tone was slightly harsh but it's all due to the fact tat I am concern for her...afterall the blog was written when I am terribly upset due also to the fact tat cos of the stupid car thing I didn't managed to meet her today and waited like an idiot the whole day.
I think the best way to help her is to help and advice her to make the correct decision, not to just blindly support her in everything she does.If that's the case then i would be nothing more than a pet.
I dun understand why I must also b the lamb that's sacrifice, everytime she will take the side of her mum/relatives but never on my side, u called that same freq?
If she wans to be angry I also can't do anything.
SighZzz...
Truth is in fact I did ok...I noe her mum is like that but the best way to keep her from doing all these stupid things is not to give in to her let them noe that u are firm then they will noe u can't b pushed...
I just dun understand why she can't see the whole picture, the bigger picture...I am not trying cause a rift in her family but if she keeps giving in like that then there will be no end to trouble only when the other party noes u can't be pushed around then the whole thing will stop.
I dun understand why she cannot realise that everything is for her own good... Not that I feel totally right, in fact I do agree that mabbe my tone was slightly harsh but it's all due to the fact tat I am concern for her...afterall the blog was written when I am terribly upset due also to the fact tat cos of the stupid car thing I didn't managed to meet her today and waited like an idiot the whole day.
I think the best way to help her is to help and advice her to make the correct decision, not to just blindly support her in everything she does.If that's the case then i would be nothing more than a pet.
I dun understand why I must also b the lamb that's sacrifice, everytime she will take the side of her mum/relatives but never on my side, u called that same freq?
If she wans to be angry I also can't do anything.
SighZzz...
Saturday, April 09, 2005
Expectations of a SG guy
SighZzzz I think it's very hard to be a SG guy because of the many expectations that is expected on u...that u are suppose to have..
If Guy can't get into Uni, then he's useless,
but if he gets into Uni and then can't work which equals to no $$ then he still useless
If Guy thinks he's not cut out to be some boss or big shot then he's not ambitious and thus useless..
If all he wants is to be happy and live out the rest of his life then his thinking is wrong(not ambitious enuff) and he's still useless
Ask yourself how many people can be no. 1s? surely there must be thousands who are not no. 1 right? How many CEOs can there be? how many Presidents can there be?
All those who aren't able to reach the top or doesn't think abt reaching the top are all stereotyped as being useless or "mei chu xi". Think that's a bit unfair to the majority of the SG population. Cos I think the numbers of non CEOs far exceeds the num of CEOs. The num of non Uni grads still exceeds the num of Uni grads. Try telling the majority that they are useless... Ha Ha
Many gals(obviously or rather their mums) wan to marry rich and famous guys. How many are there? Most probably they will end up marrying the same guy and they will be kept in the dark...
Is this wat they wan?
If Guy can't get into Uni, then he's useless,
but if he gets into Uni and then can't work which equals to no $$ then he still useless
If Guy thinks he's not cut out to be some boss or big shot then he's not ambitious and thus useless..
If all he wants is to be happy and live out the rest of his life then his thinking is wrong(not ambitious enuff) and he's still useless
Ask yourself how many people can be no. 1s? surely there must be thousands who are not no. 1 right? How many CEOs can there be? how many Presidents can there be?
All those who aren't able to reach the top or doesn't think abt reaching the top are all stereotyped as being useless or "mei chu xi". Think that's a bit unfair to the majority of the SG population. Cos I think the numbers of non CEOs far exceeds the num of CEOs. The num of non Uni grads still exceeds the num of Uni grads. Try telling the majority that they are useless... Ha Ha
Many gals(obviously or rather their mums) wan to marry rich and famous guys. How many are there? Most probably they will end up marrying the same guy and they will be kept in the dark...
Is this wat they wan?
Sunday, March 13, 2005
Feeling Down...
Sighzzz these few days dunno why have been feeling quite down coupled with the super warm weather...urgh...,
1st thing, my bro just finished his BMT, and came back to stay for 2 weeks before he gets his next posting. He's been complaining that his allowance is very little, he's getting $350 and my mum feels that he has not enough to spend thus keep buying things like shirts, pants ,wallets and other necessities for him. Ok I know that i shouldn't feel that way but I feel that she's practising favoritism, which makes me quite upset cos when i was in army I dun rem getting such treatments and what's more my allowance at that time was even less, $220 only...He's getting $130 more already can't he take care of himself and buy the stuffs he need himself? Grrr...
Seems that no 1 care abt me anymore...
2nd thing, been quite worried whether I will be able to save enough $$ to get married with my beloved dd.Dunno why,It's seems that the more I try to save, the more I would need spend. And though I am trying my best already it seems I am not making much progress,at most $300 every month and then in between my stuffs break down, i.e. my alarm clock spoil then I have to spend $$ to get a new one.... Grr...why? is it so hard to save $$? I've been trying very hard, very tired already...My dd says she wans to save as much as possible but she's been living a pampered life(mabbe she dosen't realise it) since young so don't really expect her to be able to save much, only hope is that she don't overspend than I'll b more than happy...
Many things I wan, I also refrain myself from buying...Pathetic? Now I really wish to spend some $$ just to please myself(and vent my frustration) but I noe that after i spend I will regret it cos i could have save the $$ for better use...
Then her family sigh...Keep associating wealth with a man's achievement and put very high expectations for me to achieve else I would be deemed "Mei Chu Xi"(worthless) by them. Sometimes I think my dd is also affected by this labelling. All I wan is to live happily Is that too much to ask? Why can't they have some sympathy on us, the men of this generation? Everything they say "it's a man's responsibility" I am not trying to shrink from responsibility but why don't we swap places and see how they will feel? Saying want this want that is easy, everything is easier said than done...Sometimes really feel like giving everything up lor...cos seems like no matter wat I do also can't meet the expectations...sighz...
Well nvm what can I do? sighzzz just have to press on lor else how? Sometimes it's just so hard to be a man...just wan to shout:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to vent my frustrations....
1st thing, my bro just finished his BMT, and came back to stay for 2 weeks before he gets his next posting. He's been complaining that his allowance is very little, he's getting $350 and my mum feels that he has not enough to spend thus keep buying things like shirts, pants ,wallets and other necessities for him. Ok I know that i shouldn't feel that way but I feel that she's practising favoritism, which makes me quite upset cos when i was in army I dun rem getting such treatments and what's more my allowance at that time was even less, $220 only...He's getting $130 more already can't he take care of himself and buy the stuffs he need himself? Grrr...
Seems that no 1 care abt me anymore...
2nd thing, been quite worried whether I will be able to save enough $$ to get married with my beloved dd.Dunno why,It's seems that the more I try to save, the more I would need spend. And though I am trying my best already it seems I am not making much progress,at most $300 every month and then in between my stuffs break down, i.e. my alarm clock spoil then I have to spend $$ to get a new one.... Grr...why? is it so hard to save $$? I've been trying very hard, very tired already...My dd says she wans to save as much as possible but she's been living a pampered life(mabbe she dosen't realise it) since young so don't really expect her to be able to save much, only hope is that she don't overspend than I'll b more than happy...
Many things I wan, I also refrain myself from buying...Pathetic? Now I really wish to spend some $$ just to please myself(and vent my frustration) but I noe that after i spend I will regret it cos i could have save the $$ for better use...
Then her family sigh...Keep associating wealth with a man's achievement and put very high expectations for me to achieve else I would be deemed "Mei Chu Xi"(worthless) by them. Sometimes I think my dd is also affected by this labelling. All I wan is to live happily Is that too much to ask? Why can't they have some sympathy on us, the men of this generation? Everything they say "it's a man's responsibility" I am not trying to shrink from responsibility but why don't we swap places and see how they will feel? Saying want this want that is easy, everything is easier said than done...Sometimes really feel like giving everything up lor...cos seems like no matter wat I do also can't meet the expectations...sighz...
Well nvm what can I do? sighzzz just have to press on lor else how? Sometimes it's just so hard to be a man...just wan to shout:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! to vent my frustrations....
Saturday, March 05, 2005
"I'm Worried, I'm so worried"
This few days feeling quite vex becos of dd's carcar prob abit worried that she can't save enuff for the car or because of the car she have to live like a pauper... u can say I am now pondering whether urging her to buy the car is a good thing or a bad thing...
Reasons why I encourage to buy:
1)It's always her dream to own her car, and I feel she'll b happier if she do have one.
2)Car prices are cheap now, may not be able to afford in the future
3)wan to make use of this opportunity to let her learn how to save money
4)Prevent her from giving her parents more money (>500) so as to protect herself
5)Even if she don't buy, her money will also go to some other place and b lost forever without a trace.
6)Let her gain some "face" back.
Reasons why I am having 2nd tots:
1)she can't curb herself from spending more $$ even though she had planned to. She dosen't have the self-discipline and/or she is just not firm enough to put plans into actions.
2)worried that she'll have to suffer due to suddenly having much less to spend
3)Her parents will keep "borrowing" $200-$300 from her every month(on top of her allowance and she don't know how to reject them), To be honest she can't afford to lend them $200 when she is paying for the car lor.
just recieved a car from the car agent,that our orange picanto is coming, already paid upfront $2k now need to pay another $800 for 1st instalment and insurance. meaning I'll have to come up with another $400. Actually it's quite a heartache for me to part with the $400. cos it really take much effort for me to save up to the amt of $$ i have now. I hope this will be a lesson to her to teach her the virtues of savings. I am still a student yet i managed to amass $6K and at 1 pt I have $8K. It's not easy considering I have almost no income. But i guess this time the $400 I have to give to help her fufill her dreams, just hope it's not a short-lived 1. To be honest, I don't have much expectations of recouping the $2.4K from her and i don't want to add to her burden. If she can't "repay" the "loan" then nvm lor. I'll just slowly take my time to save back the $$ again but I guess $2.4k is just abt the max I can part with cos i don't want the $$ in my UOB to drop below $5K unless there's a emergency then that I've nothing to say.
I've been telling my dd to save up some years already, but that time she still have to study and thus have to come up with alot of $$ every year to pay her PT degree fees.Somemore she still have to satisfy her parent's "greed" for more allowance.( To me it's just to brag abt it in front of relatives n neighbours) thus i dont't blame her for having little or no savings that time. But it's been 6 months since she grad and though she's working her savings is still less than $2K.(see my FOR pt 3 and 5).Put it crudely I am not working, my income is almost 0 mabbe she can take a page frm me, I still managed to save a few $Ks, I do believe if I can do it so can the rest of the people even more so for those who are working and have a stable income. Perharps if she had heeded my advice earlier and start saving some $$ a few years back things will b different today, she'll b able to get her things she wan as and when she wan.Anyway no use crying over spilled milk wat's pass had pass.Just forget it.Just start from now.
I don't know what she take me for, but I do take her very seriously though we're not legally married, I've already considered her to b like a wife to me. I tell her almost everything and discuss with her over most matters(say except those that I forgot or those that need a speedy resolution). To me she give me the feeling that she will only come to me when she has a problem. example the insurance case, I don't even know that she bought a policy until she have already subscriped to it for almost year. Then i only came to know abt it when she wanted to terminate. In other stuffs though she came to seek my advice and though after we've discuss and come to a agreement on the next action step, she'll not execute it. Why is that so? Is it bcos I am not working and inexperienced so my advices are mostly "rubbish"? or is it I am just simply taken for granted? I dunno...*sigh*
Breakdown of dd's pay and my calculations:
income:
Take home pay :$1880
fixed expenditures:
Car monthly instalments :$285
Home allowance(home Tax) :$500
Season parking (monthly) :$75
car insurance (monthly) :~$200
var expenditures:
Food :$100 ($5 every meal,a month ~20 working days $5x20=100)
Transport :$~50 ($2 everyday($0.83 a trip) + some unexpected trips)
Car petrol,parking :$50(conservative figure hopefully can meet)
coupons, cash card
thus she still should have $620 if my calculations are correct and she still have to spend on some hidden stuffs like facials, Amore membership, etc...
Well hope everything work out well...well just voicing out my tots no hard feelings...just feel better after voicing out my concerns...
Sorry DD okok?
Reasons why I encourage to buy:
1)It's always her dream to own her car, and I feel she'll b happier if she do have one.
2)Car prices are cheap now, may not be able to afford in the future
3)wan to make use of this opportunity to let her learn how to save money
4)Prevent her from giving her parents more money (>500) so as to protect herself
5)Even if she don't buy, her money will also go to some other place and b lost forever without a trace.
6)Let her gain some "face" back.
Reasons why I am having 2nd tots:
1)she can't curb herself from spending more $$ even though she had planned to. She dosen't have the self-discipline and/or she is just not firm enough to put plans into actions.
2)worried that she'll have to suffer due to suddenly having much less to spend
3)Her parents will keep "borrowing" $200-$300 from her every month(on top of her allowance and she don't know how to reject them), To be honest she can't afford to lend them $200 when she is paying for the car lor.
just recieved a car from the car agent,that our orange picanto is coming, already paid upfront $2k now need to pay another $800 for 1st instalment and insurance. meaning I'll have to come up with another $400. Actually it's quite a heartache for me to part with the $400. cos it really take much effort for me to save up to the amt of $$ i have now. I hope this will be a lesson to her to teach her the virtues of savings. I am still a student yet i managed to amass $6K and at 1 pt I have $8K. It's not easy considering I have almost no income. But i guess this time the $400 I have to give to help her fufill her dreams, just hope it's not a short-lived 1. To be honest, I don't have much expectations of recouping the $2.4K from her and i don't want to add to her burden. If she can't "repay" the "loan" then nvm lor. I'll just slowly take my time to save back the $$ again but I guess $2.4k is just abt the max I can part with cos i don't want the $$ in my UOB to drop below $5K unless there's a emergency then that I've nothing to say.
I've been telling my dd to save up some years already, but that time she still have to study and thus have to come up with alot of $$ every year to pay her PT degree fees.Somemore she still have to satisfy her parent's "greed" for more allowance.( To me it's just to brag abt it in front of relatives n neighbours) thus i dont't blame her for having little or no savings that time. But it's been 6 months since she grad and though she's working her savings is still less than $2K.(see my FOR pt 3 and 5).Put it crudely I am not working, my income is almost 0 mabbe she can take a page frm me, I still managed to save a few $Ks, I do believe if I can do it so can the rest of the people even more so for those who are working and have a stable income. Perharps if she had heeded my advice earlier and start saving some $$ a few years back things will b different today, she'll b able to get her things she wan as and when she wan.Anyway no use crying over spilled milk wat's pass had pass.Just forget it.Just start from now.
I don't know what she take me for, but I do take her very seriously though we're not legally married, I've already considered her to b like a wife to me. I tell her almost everything and discuss with her over most matters(say except those that I forgot or those that need a speedy resolution). To me she give me the feeling that she will only come to me when she has a problem. example the insurance case, I don't even know that she bought a policy until she have already subscriped to it for almost year. Then i only came to know abt it when she wanted to terminate. In other stuffs though she came to seek my advice and though after we've discuss and come to a agreement on the next action step, she'll not execute it. Why is that so? Is it bcos I am not working and inexperienced so my advices are mostly "rubbish"? or is it I am just simply taken for granted? I dunno...*sigh*
Breakdown of dd's pay and my calculations:
income:
Take home pay :$1880
fixed expenditures:
Car monthly instalments :$285
Home allowance(home Tax) :$500
Season parking (monthly) :$75
car insurance (monthly) :~$200
var expenditures:
Food :$100 ($5 every meal,a month ~20 working days $5x20=100)
Transport :$~50 ($2 everyday($0.83 a trip) + some unexpected trips)
Car petrol,parking :$50(conservative figure hopefully can meet)
coupons, cash card
thus she still should have $620 if my calculations are correct and she still have to spend on some hidden stuffs like facials, Amore membership, etc...
Well hope everything work out well...well just voicing out my tots no hard feelings...just feel better after voicing out my concerns...
Sorry DD okok?
Thursday, March 03, 2005
Money Woes
Grrrr.... today feeling quite frustrated cos had a argument wif my dd over some $$ matters...situation is like this, earlier she has decided that she won't give more than the $500 allowance including fees for the graduation photo shoot that she's gg to take. The shoot itself costs $488, abit extravagant right? ok but nvm since mabbe to her this is the proudest moment in her life to be a graduate. then including makeup for her grandmas, the cost should be around $600. then she've already paid $300 for the shoot alone and then give another $500 to her mum. so altogther this month she've spend $800 , and previously as agreed she say this month she'll not spend more than $500(includ allowance)...so can u see wat's happening? I feel very disappointed bcos I feel that if one make some promises, they should fufill it, if say dun give more than $500 then must keep it tat way mah.else people will keep on pushing and pushing..u give them a inch, they wan a yard. that's the way ppl are. I feel that my dd should protect herself lor and not keep being so submissive to her u-know-who. She should think for herself also...not say that she dosen't give them any allowance.
The reason i 'encourage' her to buy her car is to let her learn how to save. Frankly speaking her family dosen't have a good saving culture, They'll just spend and think later. So when there's some situation that requires $$, they'll just go 'borrow(or rather extort)' $$ from my dd which i feel is very wrong lor... I wan my dd to learn the virtues of saving. I never expect her to be as frugal as me(I spend only abt $200 a month),i've been taught since young to save $$.For my brothers and I, usually we'll only spend 1/2 of our pocket $$ and save the rest..but it's not for their case.
when they wan something then they start saving for it else they just spend everything.
Frankly I'm unhappy because my dd isn't firm enough to stick to wat she has said or agreed. When her ... wants $$, even though she has made up her mind not to give any more $$ for the month she'll still give. She's just too soft hearted. And she said her dad trying to shelter them and not make them lose face or watever. To me, their lifestyle is simply too extravagant. If not so well off then live a not-so-well-off life lah. No need for top of the range audio sys, BIG TV, fastest computer,NEWEST MP3 etc... I'm still living w/o air conditioning u noe and I'm quite satisfied.
Like her dad, i'm also trying to protect her, but not frm outsiders but frm her own family. I feel that they are treating her like a $$ tree. She must noe how to stand up for herself, have her own principles, NO means NO. YES means YES. Simple as tat. I don't want to see the scenerio whereby her car gets tow away for a few months stay at Maybank's car pound or that her life is so miserable bcos of the car. her salary is definitely enough to support a OPC but she has no xtra $$ to give to her parents for NEW gadgets. That's why I wan her to protect herself...If come to the point whereby i've have to stand up for her that would be disasterous, I dun wan to sour relationship between me and her parents that would put her in a tight spot i noe.
I know she didn't anyhow spend her $$ but if she gave the $$ she saved up to her parents for her bro's hi-tech gadgets that wat's the pt? It'll still come one full circle to sq 1.
I never expect her to return the $2k I gave for the downpayment and I never expected her to contribute any $$ for our future marriage purpose athough I hope that she'll be able to contribute some. All this while i've been trying to save as much as possible. I'm very tired also u noe, everyday lunchtime look for the cheapest food possible, control myself not to buy some things that I wish I could have,how to save more $$. Imagine if I am like her, dun have the habit of saving and dun even think of marriage at all then wat will happen mabbe the whole marriage thing will only b a dream. cos even 5-6 years down the rd we'll still b penniless. Is that the ideal situation. I dun understand why my dd keep thinking that my plan to marry at 28 is termed 'marry early' is 28++ yrs old young?? I've keep having tots of giving up the whole savings thing all together and leave everything to fate and destiny but just feel it's not right lor. so wat to do? just have to clench my teeth and trudge on...
Really very disheartening to see that ur love 1s spending their $$ away when u're trying to hard to save, especially so for me bcos i am not working so i can only save very little so after a lot of effot the amt only increase by a little...so sianz...
The reason i say put the $$ for the car insurance in another place is that I wan to try not to withdraw any $$ from our UOB acct. cos I'm afraid it'll bcome a habit, whenever have problems then think of $$ frm there.
Problems dun solve by themselves just like knots, u dun untie them the knor till just remain there.
Problems will only decrease when u solve them 1 by 1 if u just leave it there other problems will of cos add up. Simple theory right? To solve them u just have to b firm, once u've decided on wat to do just go and execute. U may hav a grand plan but if u dun execute it it'll just b a plan.Have some principles, dun sway from ur intended path.
The reason i 'encourage' her to buy her car is to let her learn how to save. Frankly speaking her family dosen't have a good saving culture, They'll just spend and think later. So when there's some situation that requires $$, they'll just go 'borrow(or rather extort)' $$ from my dd which i feel is very wrong lor... I wan my dd to learn the virtues of saving. I never expect her to be as frugal as me(I spend only abt $200 a month),i've been taught since young to save $$.For my brothers and I, usually we'll only spend 1/2 of our pocket $$ and save the rest..but it's not for their case.
when they wan something then they start saving for it else they just spend everything.
Frankly I'm unhappy because my dd isn't firm enough to stick to wat she has said or agreed. When her ... wants $$, even though she has made up her mind not to give any more $$ for the month she'll still give. She's just too soft hearted. And she said her dad trying to shelter them and not make them lose face or watever. To me, their lifestyle is simply too extravagant. If not so well off then live a not-so-well-off life lah. No need for top of the range audio sys, BIG TV, fastest computer,NEWEST MP3 etc... I'm still living w/o air conditioning u noe and I'm quite satisfied.
Like her dad, i'm also trying to protect her, but not frm outsiders but frm her own family. I feel that they are treating her like a $$ tree. She must noe how to stand up for herself, have her own principles, NO means NO. YES means YES. Simple as tat. I don't want to see the scenerio whereby her car gets tow away for a few months stay at Maybank's car pound or that her life is so miserable bcos of the car. her salary is definitely enough to support a OPC but she has no xtra $$ to give to her parents for NEW gadgets. That's why I wan her to protect herself...If come to the point whereby i've have to stand up for her that would be disasterous, I dun wan to sour relationship between me and her parents that would put her in a tight spot i noe.
I know she didn't anyhow spend her $$ but if she gave the $$ she saved up to her parents for her bro's hi-tech gadgets that wat's the pt? It'll still come one full circle to sq 1.
I never expect her to return the $2k I gave for the downpayment and I never expected her to contribute any $$ for our future marriage purpose athough I hope that she'll be able to contribute some. All this while i've been trying to save as much as possible. I'm very tired also u noe, everyday lunchtime look for the cheapest food possible, control myself not to buy some things that I wish I could have,how to save more $$. Imagine if I am like her, dun have the habit of saving and dun even think of marriage at all then wat will happen mabbe the whole marriage thing will only b a dream. cos even 5-6 years down the rd we'll still b penniless. Is that the ideal situation. I dun understand why my dd keep thinking that my plan to marry at 28 is termed 'marry early' is 28++ yrs old young?? I've keep having tots of giving up the whole savings thing all together and leave everything to fate and destiny but just feel it's not right lor. so wat to do? just have to clench my teeth and trudge on...
Really very disheartening to see that ur love 1s spending their $$ away when u're trying to hard to save, especially so for me bcos i am not working so i can only save very little so after a lot of effot the amt only increase by a little...so sianz...
The reason i say put the $$ for the car insurance in another place is that I wan to try not to withdraw any $$ from our UOB acct. cos I'm afraid it'll bcome a habit, whenever have problems then think of $$ frm there.
Problems dun solve by themselves just like knots, u dun untie them the knor till just remain there.
Problems will only decrease when u solve them 1 by 1 if u just leave it there other problems will of cos add up. Simple theory right? To solve them u just have to b firm, once u've decided on wat to do just go and execute. U may hav a grand plan but if u dun execute it it'll just b a plan.Have some principles, dun sway from ur intended path.
Sunday, February 27, 2005
My Birthday
Friday 25th Feb was my birthday, *sigh* so sad this year no presents...My mum gave me $12 ang pow and my dad gave me $20, my bro brought a slice of cake for me and my dd bought me a muffin to celebrate..that's about all. Mabbe will buy myself a small present to remember the day I turned 25...Happy Birthday to Me
DD's car car
Haha everything has been confirmed, dd's car car will be arriving mabbe in April or May when the next shipment of kia picanto arrives in singapore...before the booking of the car, honestly I feel very excited and very enthusiatic abt the whole thing but now after everything's been confirmed, strangely the feeling sort of died down. Before the car booking, I did a very deep analysis of the whole situation, whether the buying of car would be beneficial to us, our marriage arrangements etc... To many people, i guess the better way would be to save up the $$, purchase a hse then buy a car, that's wat i feel in the 1st place... to many people I think that would be a wiser choice also..Well I knew that buying a car would deprive us of much needed cash for our hse and marriage and mabbe set us back for a couple of years cos we have to save up $$ for everything, hse, bills etc...Marriage in Singapore isn't cheap. Anyway I think for our case it doesn't make much difference whether we buy house or car 1st..cos I guess most of the $$ for marriage would be my own burden.My dd dosen't really save much and i guess she would be happier if I let her buy her car car so that we 2 can go whizzing away during weekends...Many people around her have also given her advice to save the $$ to buy a hse 1st before buying a car and I guess these advices does have a effect on her but I've already told her b4 if she thinks it's ok then just go ahead...My worries is actually if she dun buy now when car prices are rock bottom then mabbe car prices will increase and she will not be able to afford...*sigh* I guess everything would have to leave it to our own fate...and in the meantime i will try to save $$, as much as possible so that we can get married as soon as possible...Now looking forward to "decorating" the car hehe
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