Listening to a sad song now and penning this, not sure why but have a urge to write down all the things in my head.
Click to read on else just skip (quite long and boring)
Mabbe some of my friends don't know but i was quite a bad kid when i was young. my memory is from ages 4 and up...4 and below i have totally no recollection haha. Anyway i was quite blessed to have this great nanny who take care of me and her kids who are like big brothers and sisters to me. Very nice people, though i often make them mad with my antics haha. My nanny likes to play with my ear lobes, she said it was big and fleshy very nice to touch, like Buddha's ears and i will have a good life. Well she was partially right.
Indeed my life since young have been good. I am not extremely fortunate but still smooth sailing. In studies, i was always in the upper half, though it did dipped a little when i swapped primary school hehe. remember once i failed my CA and my mum forced me to quit my scout ECA. In sports i was pretty good as well, in primary school i played badminton, track and field and abit of soccer, i was even selected to represent my school in 400m race.
Secondary school, i focus more on soccer.With my classmates, we managed to get 2nd place in the interclass tournament. but i also represented my school in the inter-school cross country meet, too bad never won anything. haha well i still won a bronze in the inter-class badminton also. I was also in the NPCC until my cross country schedule made me gotta make a choice and i chose to quit my NPCC to focus on my cross country. Bad choice mabbe cos after the inter school event the team was like dissolved and i was left with no core ECA. Tough luck, my sec sch ECA grade was F9. haha
Studies, in my upper secondary, i was also in the special English class for those supposed to be better in english to help us get a A1 for English in the O levels. wanted to take O levels history also but too bad there was not enough studies in my cohort who wanted to take it. so cannot make up a class. too bad gotta take Geography but ok lah. My History is 90++ marks one ok.. i am super in love with history.
My prelims was quite good and i could have gone to AJC for the 3 mth probation but too far, so i went to JJC. Was talent-spotted for the school soccer team and joined them for training... It was an eye opener, i played with many good players. My 3 mths just breeze past with lotsa class skipping for soccer games at the school basketball court and after lesson trainings...
Then came the 1st shock of my life, my O levels English got a D7... Big shock when i saw my result slip. All As and Bs no Cs , just a single D... and what a important D that was. I was sad and stunned i think my mum was very sad when she got the news, she can hardly believe it. I have NEVER failed my English in secondary before always get Bs, my JJC football coach/teacher in charge tried to help me appeal to the school principle to let me get into JJC but to no avail, Nice guy this teacher, didn't have a chance to thank him...
perhaps it's all fated. I went to Singapore polytechnic and chose to take up Electronics, Computer Communications. Ok, it's nearer to my childhood goal, to be an engineer. Had some real nice friends there, my grades was good also.. alot of distinctions also. In the end graduated with a merit, means top 5% i guess. In the course of it, also met someone who gave me alot of lessons in life.
Army: Nothing spectacular but i guess i was quite fortunate to have very good buddies, i never get bullied nor was my training too tough. Almost an easy 2.5yrs whizzed pass like tat.
I made it into NTU from poly, everyone was saying "must be tough", but honestly it wasn't as tough at least for me, perhaps i am more a more practical person, poly education really suits me.
OK Life in NTU was tougher, i did not get much distinctions mabbe i was not hardworking enough. Anyway i still managed to graduate with hons.
Still life was still smooth sailing for me except for that small blip. After graduation i went off to work. Work was not tough at all for me, but i often have to be a someone my boss expects me to be which i absolutely loathe. Anyway i jumped ship at the earliest possible opportunity and now i can say that i have much freedom over myself at the expense of the job scope. Well one hard truth i have learnt.. it's only a job.
Something happened during that period i experienced highs and lows. it was like I was brought to the very top, and then threw into a deep abyss. Just when i tot i had everything, overnight i am left with nothing...Those darkest days of my life. I was wondering why must it happened to me? alot of questions. very lost? what happened? what have i done wrong? Lies, deceit, betrayal... things i have always hated all experienced at the same time.
absolutely lost, so glad that i still have good friends who helped me through the period.
Thanks everyone.
What i have learnt about life?
Life is full of ups and downs, do not take anything for granted
Do not let a small hiccup stop u from living your life,
Do not let hurtful and groundless words destroy your self worth
Do not look back
Change is needed but do we change our values just because others are doing it?
If tat is so then wun be become the same person who hurt us?
We can change the way we handle things , the way we look at things, but can we change our values? We should look at things and decide our actions based on our values and conscience, the things that we believed are right, Not because others are doing it. We may not have the ability nor the influence to change everyone but at least we can start with ourselves.
Remember the goodness people have shown to you, but don't bear grudges against people who have hurt u. it will just make ur own life miserable, what's the point?.
Be positive, sure there are alot of bad things happening, bad people. always think that good people outnumber these bad people, if u are positive u will meet good and nice people. (tat's wat happened to me).
Do not always think that u are the worst.
I think throughout my life, i've been always thinking for others, rarely for myself. I dun feel there's anything wrong... like the chinese saying goes : "失比受有福" ...seeing others happy makes me happy as well.
I've seen the power of greed, how it corrupts people... Greed is unsatisfiable. We must know when to be content with our lot.
I may have lost alot of things, but i've also gained some, some very valuable life lessons
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