I guess everybody in town would be talking about the great tsunami that killed 120000 people so far in Indonesia, Sri Lanka, Thailand Malaysia and other countries that are near the epi centre of the powerful earthquake(which measures abt 8.9 on the Richter scale) . For those who have not listen to the news on TV or read the newspapers, A tsunami is bascially a VERY hugh wave. "Tsunami" is a japanese word which means "harbour wave" and for that particular killer wave that killed so many people and destroyed so many villages and cities along the coast of the affected countries, it is said that the wave measured up to 10m high in some areas. 10m...wow is roughly 3 stories high...Feel so sad for those who died and for those who have lost their family members in this disaster, really pathetic...Entire villages were destroyed and widespread destruction everywhere. Now it sets me thinking what would I do if I was there...
For me if I met with such disaster, and most likely I would be with my present gf. If ever she was swept away by the tsunami I think the instantneous reaction from me would be to swim out with the wave too and try to save her...Even if I can't save her perharps we could die together. Now I am not trying to be heroic or what. I have never seen a tsunami before but I can say that my love for my gf is so strong now that if she were to be swept away, I will try my best to save her or die trying to do just that...
Friday, December 31, 2004
Sunday, December 26, 2004
5 Long years already ...How time files
Ah Nov 4 2004, this is the date of the DD aniversary..sounds bewildered? wat date is that? Well once past this date means that my gf and I have been together for 5 years already liao lor..haha 5 years just past like that..Rem the time I knew in Poly days sure brings back some nostalgic feelings.. Alas everyone have to grow up...Both of us have changed since then... I think it's due to the fact that both of us have gained some life experience since then... Thus for a couple(nowadays) to remain together for 5 years, I considered that as a form of acomplishment already... It takes alot of understanding and tolerance from a couple to keep a relationship going... I am very grateful to my gf for having done that, to tolerate my tempers now and then and not giving up on my during my NS and Uni as alot of gals have done...sometimes I just can't find time to spend with her cos i am not exactly a super bright student thus I do need to spend some time on revision but I'm glad she's quite understanding in this matter...
We do have our fair share of quarrels now and then but somehow they seem to get solved .To me our roles seems to be reversed, her character in relationship is like a guy's while I'm more sentimental and more like a gal haha... cos I will always think about things like marriage, children housing... (most of the time quarrels are due to this also). The other thing is Trust, To me personally, i've always trusted her, thus even when she goes out wif other guys, I trust that she'll still be true to me(even when she attended her fren's OCS passing out ball)..Afterall if 2 person dun even have trust for each other how are they going to live together in the future? After all I look upon her as a wife one that I will have to eat,live and sleep together , One whom I can share secrets, One that i can cuddle in a crouch and watch TV together, one who will always be there for me when i need support and one who will be by my side even when the whole world have given up on me. I mean isn't that suppose to be? Isn't the relationship between man and wife suppose to be such?
Both of us have our flaws I will talk about mine 1st:
...I am too hardfeeling, I am very sentimental to relationships means I take relationships seriously, however even when I lost something of sentimental value to me I will not feel sad, this may sound contraditory but I dunno this is just me , tak e for example, my house's hamsters, one of them died recently, when they were alive I like them very much and I take good care of them however when one died, seriously I tell u I dun feel really sad for the lost of it. I mean when I saw them I've already prepared myself that one day they would die. Mabbe this is the reason I dun feel sad cos I've already prepared myself. I think for my gf's case would be very different. she would cry her heart out if one of her pets died haha I dunno what would be her reaction if something happened to me.Touch Wood
...For me Planning is everything, and when I plan I tend to look at the big picture like wat will happen to this if I do this ... I want to be systematic in everything I do and now wander aimlessly then get something on impulsive. However sometimes I tend to look just at the big picture to the sense that I neglect the nitty gritty details and hurt others just to accomplish bigger goals.
3)Too realistic, I never dare to dream for what seems impossible to me now, u can say that I am a very practical person. Thus to her, I will seem to be a worthless person, not ambitious enough, For me all I wanted wif my life is to be normal, have a happy family and just be happy. I've never ever wanted to be rich(if I could then that would be great), own a few ferraris, porsche live in a big house...etc To be the most important thing is to be happy and to achieve that you will need to enjoy what you have now rather then worrying about wat you want and how to get in the future. To be contented is bliss(chinese saying). Thus I never ever set my tots on things that seems to be far far away from me prefering to take things 1 step at a time and being realistic..
Now what my gf is to me:
1)Hot tempered lah, stubborn lah when u get into a quarrel with her haha she will insist on her ideas no matter wat u said cos nothing goes in when she's angry when she's in this state of mind. Wat she says is the ABSOLUTE correct thing. No other thing is more correct then hers...must give her some time to think then she'll be ok.
2)Guillible, haha good news for sales promoters. Dunno why she rather believes things that her colleagues/friends said rather than my words sad sad..
3)her "multi-tasking" ability is bad..super bad. Haha she have always been like that no improvement after 5 years haha. When someone comes, she tends to neglect the other 1 and focus most her attention on the other. Thus u can say that I'm often the 1 who feel neglected when someone else come to visit her when I'm around...sad sad also.
In spite of all this I feel very happy when I'm with her I think this is the part that keep the relationsip(my side) going. in terms of shortcomings, I think we complement each other and this is wat keeps the "boredom" out of the relationship cos our differences brings new life and sparks everyday to the relationship thus everyday will be a new and interesting day for us....
I do hope that we will live happily ever after and be happy always and of cos less conflicts lah haha
Some of our pics are avail here:see any changes?
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/sunboi80/album?.dir=/7244&.src=ph&.tok=phdjTRCBWqLRMhYC
P/S:My Blog mostly abt her but her's is almost entirely abt herself sad sad..
We do have our fair share of quarrels now and then but somehow they seem to get solved .To me our roles seems to be reversed, her character in relationship is like a guy's while I'm more sentimental and more like a gal haha... cos I will always think about things like marriage, children housing... (most of the time quarrels are due to this also). The other thing is Trust, To me personally, i've always trusted her, thus even when she goes out wif other guys, I trust that she'll still be true to me(even when she attended her fren's OCS passing out ball)..Afterall if 2 person dun even have trust for each other how are they going to live together in the future? After all I look upon her as a wife one that I will have to eat,live and sleep together , One whom I can share secrets, One that i can cuddle in a crouch and watch TV together, one who will always be there for me when i need support and one who will be by my side even when the whole world have given up on me. I mean isn't that suppose to be? Isn't the relationship between man and wife suppose to be such?
Both of us have our flaws I will talk about mine 1st:
...I am too hardfeeling, I am very sentimental to relationships means I take relationships seriously, however even when I lost something of sentimental value to me I will not feel sad, this may sound contraditory but I dunno this is just me , tak e for example, my house's hamsters, one of them died recently, when they were alive I like them very much and I take good care of them however when one died, seriously I tell u I dun feel really sad for the lost of it. I mean when I saw them I've already prepared myself that one day they would die. Mabbe this is the reason I dun feel sad cos I've already prepared myself. I think for my gf's case would be very different. she would cry her heart out if one of her pets died haha I dunno what would be her reaction if something happened to me.Touch Wood
...For me Planning is everything, and when I plan I tend to look at the big picture like wat will happen to this if I do this ... I want to be systematic in everything I do and now wander aimlessly then get something on impulsive. However sometimes I tend to look just at the big picture to the sense that I neglect the nitty gritty details and hurt others just to accomplish bigger goals.
3)Too realistic, I never dare to dream for what seems impossible to me now, u can say that I am a very practical person. Thus to her, I will seem to be a worthless person, not ambitious enough, For me all I wanted wif my life is to be normal, have a happy family and just be happy. I've never ever wanted to be rich(if I could then that would be great), own a few ferraris, porsche live in a big house...etc To be the most important thing is to be happy and to achieve that you will need to enjoy what you have now rather then worrying about wat you want and how to get in the future. To be contented is bliss(chinese saying). Thus I never ever set my tots on things that seems to be far far away from me prefering to take things 1 step at a time and being realistic..
Now what my gf is to me:
1)Hot tempered lah, stubborn lah when u get into a quarrel with her haha she will insist on her ideas no matter wat u said cos nothing goes in when she's angry when she's in this state of mind. Wat she says is the ABSOLUTE correct thing. No other thing is more correct then hers...must give her some time to think then she'll be ok.
2)Guillible, haha good news for sales promoters. Dunno why she rather believes things that her colleagues/friends said rather than my words sad sad..
3)her "multi-tasking" ability is bad..super bad. Haha she have always been like that no improvement after 5 years haha. When someone comes, she tends to neglect the other 1 and focus most her attention on the other. Thus u can say that I'm often the 1 who feel neglected when someone else come to visit her when I'm around...sad sad also.
In spite of all this I feel very happy when I'm with her I think this is the part that keep the relationsip(my side) going. in terms of shortcomings, I think we complement each other and this is wat keeps the "boredom" out of the relationship cos our differences brings new life and sparks everyday to the relationship thus everyday will be a new and interesting day for us....
I do hope that we will live happily ever after and be happy always and of cos less conflicts lah haha
Some of our pics are avail here:see any changes?
http://sg.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/sunboi80/album?.dir=/7244&.src=ph&.tok=phdjTRCBWqLRMhYC
P/S:My Blog mostly abt her but her's is almost entirely abt herself sad sad..
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Communication Skills
Well I have just finished a short course on "Effective Interpersonal Skills". Basically it's a cause that teaches you how to improve your interpersonal skills and I find it quite useful(Most people will need to improve their interpersonal skills somehow) although I feel that the theory are a bit crap lah haha..Anyway as part of the course, I have to read up on a book titled "Reaching Out Interpersonal Effectiveness and Self Acutalisation". Some of the extracts that I want to share from the book:
What is Communications? Communications, simply put it is the exchange of message to satisfy some personal needs. To live is to communicate, all living things communicate by their own means unique to them. Thus the importance of communications cannot be over emphasized?
Communications between 2 person can be viewed as consisting of 7 basic elements:
1)Intentions of the sender
2)Encoding of the message, How the sender want encode their feelings, ideas into the
message
3)Sending the message, How the sender want to deliver the message
4)Channel
5)Decoding of the message by the reciever, how the reciever percieve the sender's
message
6)Internal Response of the reciever
7)Noise, surroundtings or other sources disrupting the message
Not all the time, the communication process is effective i.e the reciever understands all that the sender wants to send. Misunderstandings can arises from a number of factors:
1)Lack of trust, suspicious of the sender
2)Evaluative and Judgemental, keep telling what the reciever ought to do.
3)Emotional/Social sources of noise, not listening
4)Underlying meaning of the message is not recognised
5)Intentions of the sender is not always clear
Tips to effective Communications:
1)Take ownership, use "I" in messages don't speak for others
2)Be descriptive not evualutative, dun judge the sender
3)Understand other people's perspective, what you say may mean another thing to them
4)Use relationship statements (statements that has ideals to improve relationship)
5)Ensure 2 way communications
*Hope readers benefited from this post hehe
What is Communications? Communications, simply put it is the exchange of message to satisfy some personal needs. To live is to communicate, all living things communicate by their own means unique to them. Thus the importance of communications cannot be over emphasized?
Communications between 2 person can be viewed as consisting of 7 basic elements:
1)Intentions of the sender
2)Encoding of the message, How the sender want encode their feelings, ideas into the
message
3)Sending the message, How the sender want to deliver the message
4)Channel
5)Decoding of the message by the reciever, how the reciever percieve the sender's
message
6)Internal Response of the reciever
7)Noise, surroundtings or other sources disrupting the message
Not all the time, the communication process is effective i.e the reciever understands all that the sender wants to send. Misunderstandings can arises from a number of factors:
1)Lack of trust, suspicious of the sender
2)Evaluative and Judgemental, keep telling what the reciever ought to do.
3)Emotional/Social sources of noise, not listening
4)Underlying meaning of the message is not recognised
5)Intentions of the sender is not always clear
Tips to effective Communications:
1)Take ownership, use "I" in messages don't speak for others
2)Be descriptive not evualutative, dun judge the sender
3)Understand other people's perspective, what you say may mean another thing to them
4)Use relationship statements (statements that has ideals to improve relationship)
5)Ensure 2 way communications
*Hope readers benefited from this post hehe
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