3rd Oct 2004

4 years ago on this day, I was enlisted into the army, still remember how my gf held my hand and cried cos we shall be apart for a few months. I was really touched by her gesture then and I've made up my mind that She's the one for me. My OC in BMT mentioned that if a gal is willing to wait for u throughout army then most likely she's the 1 for u. My gf is still the same gal as then. and I've never once questioned myself that I've made the wrong choice. I've always been grateful to her for the years she wasted waiting for me to finish NS and studies b4 we can walk up the aisle. For her, I've been trying to shorten her wait time by scimping every cent that I possibly can. I am happy when I'm wif her, everything that we did together I still remember clearly, every milestone we cleared together even though we have our fair share of quarrels and disagreements, I've never once doubted her... I'm always looking forward to the day where holding her hands and walking up the aisle.
Since young I've been asking myself wat is it that I want from life? All I ask for is a simple happy family, nothing more nothing less. Is that too much to ask? Recently she said I made her look like an idiot, she suggested that I am calculative, arrogant and mean. To me she's the one that I feel whom understand me most(besides my mum), the one who loved me most, to heard those words coming from her mouth, I was totally devasted, the whole world came crashing down on me. Despite my efforts and almost 5 years of relationship, so this is her impression of me, to her I am only trash. All along I knew that I was not in the no1 spot in her heart, her mum and ah ma etc...all come in front of me. but i dun mind, I just want that little spot then I am happy already. For me I've always been clear in the things I want. THe disagreement arises due to our conflict of interest, she want to buy a car while I discourage her bcos I am for the idea of buying a flat 1st. knowing that the car instalments would set us back by at least 2 years. Perharps the way I conveyed this idea is wrong, and she got angry...I am very clear abt wat I want, and I am a very systematic person. to me a hse is defintely much more impt asset than a car, and like most things, we should have a solid base then slowly build up from there...I dunno how she see things, I am not against her buying her dream car but sometimes I feel that that can wait as it's not that impt. I've been working hard to please every1 especially her, so this is wat I get in the end? I'm utterly disappointed and tired of all this, lost all my fighting spirit and motivation.
Tell me am I wrong??? Yes I am angry but sometimes all A man wants is to hear a simple apology and all is forgiven...